A Big, Gay Gym...and a Gay Beach

Wow! It's been a minute since my last blog, so I'm going to cover quite a bit today. Having my life back after working at Joe's on Juniper has been enjoyable, but it also has brought back familiar challenges that I didn't have to deal with while working within the confines of a mandatory schedule. You see, I'm a disciplined person with plenty of room for improvement, and when I have a job where I'm treated like a number with a schedule I have to stick to, I tend to obey those restrictions. When I'm working for myself, and the only person who is holding me accountable is myself, I kind of behave like water outside of the container I should be confined to. I guess I've been fighting discipline and punctuality my whole life as a form of rebellion.

In the last year & a half, I've learned that happiness does not come with simply following my will wherever it leads me, but instead, taming my will by trying to do the next right thing actually allows for more peace and serenity in life. So, once I left Joe's I found myself with more free time than I had been used to since starting at the restaurant in February. Before I left, I got another part-time job at Gravity Fitness, working along side one of my recently-acquired best-friends, Jay, and I absolutely love working there! It's a far healthier atmosphere, with little or no stress, and a schedule that allows me to service the new listings and leads I've acquired since leaving Joe's. The real estate market is so unpredictable right now, but we've heard from dependable sources that we, as a nation in crisis, have hit bottom, and things will only go up from here. This is excellent and encouraging news for those of us who have been sticking it out in real estate with the hope of better times.

So, working at Gravity is a trip! People absolutely gravitate to Jay! I don't remember the last time I've seen someone as adored as he is throughout the gay community in Atlanta. It is a blessing to have him as a friend. He is a very sweet and funny person with a personality that attracts everyone. So, he is the assistant manager at the gym, and his ex, James, is the 38-year-old, hunky, laid-back, flashy owner of Gravity and WetBar. At first, I found James to be intimidating because of the bickering that goes on between the two. But now that I've been there for a bit, I enjoy James's quick, yet indifferent, wit.

The clients of the gym are 99% gay men. Need I say more? I don't know why I didn't think of this type of job before! I told Jay that I'd better be hit on at the gym or I'm quitting! I do have a thing for the men who are attentive to their physiques, but I'm also cautious of the same men because of their self-centeredness. I'll happily make compromises as those situations occur. I'm not sure if the clientele know what to think of me yet, but they're friendly, and that's really all I ask. Besides, what they think of me is none of my business; and I'm there to attend to their needs. So, it's a fun, easy job, where I can socialize while I make some extra much-needed cash, and get out of my own head.

Also, since I left Joe's, I had the opportunity to go away for a weekend with a bunch of sober friends. My friends, Eric and Rand, who attend meetings at Galano, were planning on spending a weekend on Kiawah Island, South Carolina. When they heard that I was no longer enslaved at Joe's, they invited me along. I, in turn, invited my friend Chris, who was celebrating his One-Year of Sobriety that weekend to come with us. Eric's friend, Brett, also in recovery and a server at Roxx, came as well. It was a low-key, relaxing weekend at Eric's family house in an exclusive complex along the ocean just south of Charleston. We also went in to Charleston for some delicious seafood, a tour of the historic city, and of course, the local gay bar. Chris and I argued all weekend about which one of us would succeed in sleeping with Eric, who is a 35-year-old, blonde, hunky, doctor; but we were both too chicken to make a move. I forgot to mention that we went to a gay meeting in Charleston on Saturday before our night on the town, and shares were not voluntary! I was called on after only two people shared, and my mind went blank. I forgot what the topic of the meeting was, so I said something about being grateful for gay meetings all over the country. I think maybe the older fellows liked me and wanted me to speak. I don't blame them. On Sunday, we decided to go Charleston's gay beach, which we knew wouldn't be like South Beach, but there were a handful of guys hanging around, and a few recognized us from the meeting the previous evening. We hung out with them under the overcast sky and made the best of our "gay beach" experience. It was great to hang out with the guys and escape Atlanta for a weekend. Now, of course, I want to travel more!

What's Left of Me?

One thing I dislike more than many things is reading or listening to someone complain, and that is not the point of my blog, so I'm going to tell you about how my employment with Joe's on Juniper came to an end with the least whining possible. I guess it was just a matter of time, as it is in the restaurant industry. Working at Joe's is tough, and since we've enjoyed summertime weather for the passed several weeks, the restaurant has been very busy. When we're busy, it's not any one's intention to take advantage of the servers, but we have to work harder and longer hours. When I returned from New York after Memorial Day Weekend, my schedule at Joe's had drastically changed. I was scheduled to work back-to-back doubles all week, and at first I was upset to the point that I almost quit. I remembered that in recovery, I must live on "life's terms," not my terms, so I didn't share my disgust and accepted my schedule, and worked it. However, I told Mika, our manager who arranges the schedule that I would soon be cutting my hours back to focus more on real estate. The market has recently shown indication that better times are on the way; in fact, I acquired a new listing this passed week. I also told Mika that I would not be at their disposal for Gay Pride Weekend because I would be manning the Abode Realty booth the entire weekend. I worked almost sixty hours that week at Joe's, and did it again this passed week.

Change was on my mind when I decided to email my old sponsor who I stopped calling just after I started working at Joe's in February. If you know a thing or two about recovery, you know that I am supposed to call my sponsor on a regular basis, which I haven't done partially because of my overwhelming schedule. I emailed him to tell him that I'm doing well, and that I just celebrated a year and a half of sobriety on June 4th. He and his girlfriend have been very busy with their newborn baby girl, and I wanted to see how the new family was doing. The next day he called me, and it was so wonderful to hear his voice and to catch up with him. He is one of the biggest reasons why I have stayed sober for eighteen months without relapse, and I owe him a huge debt of gratitude. Fatherhood has been treating him well, and the baby actually sleeps completely through the night! What a blessing!

When I told him about my schedule, and how my AA meetings have become very infrequent, he showed much concern. I told him things were about to change, and my recovery would soon become the top priority it should always be, before work, before boys, before anything.

That night at Joe's, we were understaffed, and it was Crazy Bitch Bingo night, which is drawing quite a crowd, thanks to the antics of our very funny server, Bryen. Long story short, we were slammed and didn't have the support necessary, especially when one of our servers, completely overwhelmed, walked out on an entire section of the inside restaurant and quit. It really was a bit of a nightmare.

So, when I got home last night after 3 a.m., I emailed Mika a resignation letter explaining that I can't keep up with the demanding schedule. I honestly feel bad about it, but I know myself, and I knew I would be useless on only four hours of sleep per night. And I meant it when I wrote in my letter that it was a pleasure to work there. I've gained some really fun friends in the experience, and I will always have a respect and admiration for those in the service industry.

It's late afternoon, and I'm having some coffee. I just got off the phone with a very good friend who also happens to be an alcoholic. I just told him about how Joe's is no more, so plans were made for the 8 p.m. meeting at the Galano Club where we'll watch another friend pick up a chip to symbolize his multiple years without a drink, and then we'll all go out to dinner to celebrate. And who knows, maybe we'll head to WetBar for some after-dinner diet Cokes!

Wow! I suddenly have a life again!