My Ethnicity versus My Hometown

Several nights ago, my friend, Julio & I were at Blake's. We were having a particularly good time considering the fact that it was a Monday night in December, and very few people were out. It was also fairly late when we got there, but the DJ started playing some older stuff after he played his requisite Rhianna, Britney, Madonna, etc. The crowd got really into it, and Julio, being the avid dancer he is, pulled me into the "dance area" of the bar. We danced to Donna Summer, Michael Jackson, and C+C Music Factory, among others.

Julio was being flirty, as usual, so we met some people we hadn't previously met. One was particularly interested in Julio, so Julio gave him his number. Afterwards, Julio moved onto the next guy, an older gentleman who happened to be a very good dancer. I say older, but he was probably my age. As they chatted over by the bar, I sat at one of the hightops next to the windows. Guy #1 came over to me and introduced himself to me. He wore a baseball cap and was probably in his mid-20s. Without a second to waste, he asked me, "Where are you from?"

"New York," I answered.

"Duh," he said.

"What?"

"Beyond that," he said.

"Are you asking me what my ethnicity is?" I asked.

"Ummm, yeah," he answered.

"Well, where I'm from and my ethnicity are two different things," I reasoned with him, who was visibly intoxicated. "My Mom is from El Salvador, and my Dad is American of Irish and Welsh descent."

I don't know why I chose a drunk, country boy in Atlanta to correct, but I guess I was a little frustrated with this simple, yet slightly offensive concept.

Almost every day, a person wants to ask me "What are you?" And, unfortunately, here in Georgia, fewer than most people know how to ask. I'm very used to the inquiry, which I get almost every single time I meet a new person, but after having lived in Atlanta for three years, I guess I want people to ask me with some discretion instead of blurting something out that says to me, "You are different, and we don't see folks like you around much."

I was born in Greenwich, Connecticut, where I went to high school, but I grew up in Port Chester, New York. After high school, I moved to Boston to go to college. I'm very proud of my ethnic heritage, and I've been to El Salvador and Ireland, both more than once. They're both beautiful countries, and I want to explore them further. However, I've never lived in any other country other than the United States. So, when a person asks me where I'm from, my first assumption is to answer the question with the proper answer. I don't see why I have to assume that the person asking is more interested in where my parents, grandparents, and ancestors are from.

I didn't get upset with drunkie at the bar, but I did correct a person for the first time, and I don't think I was wrong to. In Boston, where I lived for eleven years prior to my move to Atlanta, people were just as curious to know what my ethnicity is, but they asked with discretion. Here, people don't realize that when they ask one thing, and mean something else, they are pointing out the fact that I look different than they do, and that I'm the one who's different. It's crass and ignorant, but it isn't ill-intentioned. So, what am I to do?

I just want to put this out there so that people will think about this a little differently. The United States is made up of all different kinds of people, and we all need to exercise a little sensitivity when we want to ask about each other's differences. We should really stop thinking that there is more of one type of person than another, or that this demographic is smaller than that one. Let's embrace diversity! Let's instead complement each other on our exotic looks and forget about our parents. We're all individuals and we should be proud of heritage, but the here-and-now is what is most important, so let's assume we're all Americans, and let's talk about sex instead!

Two Years Without Alcohol . . .

. . . and I don't miss it at all!

Today is a truly awesome day. It feels like just another day, except people in all aspects of my life are congratulating me, mostly in person and via text messages. The Program Director of Purple Treatment called me a "Miracle" today. That blew me away! But I guess it is a miracle. I went from being completely dependent upon alcohol to check my email, go grocery shopping, to simply meet with another human being; to knowing and understanding the truth: that I don't need alcohol for anything. And that, in fact, I am a pretty cool guy who should be secure and confident. When I drank, I feared life. Without it, I relish life.

I woke up today with some negativity swirling around in my head. I realized it was my AA Birthday, and I knew I had to promptly get out of bed and seize the day to fully appreciate and celebrate the occasion. I also had a busy day scheduled. I devoted the morning to Mark's home search, so I got ready, ate breakfast at Waffle House, and waited for him to pick me up. We saw one listing Mark liked out of the several, but we had to be back around noon so that he could get to work on time.

I picked up my car at my mechanic's and drove home. I had been without my car for almost two weeks, and because of the cold weather and Atlanta's incompetent transit system, MARTA, I was ready to pull my newly grown long hair out. I was so happy to get my car back! It was like receiving a present for my birthday! I went home, and had a long lunch with Pumba & Simba. I had to be at the gym at 3, and because I forgot how quickly it is to get around with a car, I got there early, just in time to get a free manicure from Helmet's new Nail Technician, CJ. She's a very sweet woman who is an expert with nails, in fact, she finds it relaxing to do nails.

In recent months, I've become more carefree with my alcoholic status. So, my co-workers and many gym members were congratulating me. Meanwhile, friends & family in Chicago, Boston, San Diego, and Connecticut were texting me their well-wishes. My boss & best friend, Jay, bought me dinner tonight from one of my favorite restaurants in the ATL, Top Spice. Another best friend, Mo, suggested that we have a Chocolate Party to celebrate this weekend. What a cool idea!

I'm happy. I'm really happy. My life is really coming together nicely. I'm moving into my own apartment at the end of the month because my roommate's parents came to Atlanta from Houston to get him, and I'm finally making money! I started a second part-time job as the assistant to a very busy, large-scale event planner to supplement my income, and I love it! In fact, I've been so busy this week, that I haven't worked this much since I worked at Joe's on Juniper last Spring. Some days, I start with real estate at 9 a.m., and finish with the gym at 11 p.m., and I'm happy to be busy. If I have time on my hands to do nothing, negative thoughts permeate my brain, and things become unpleasant and uncomfortable. I also have control over my own schedule, which is a wonderful, yet dangerous thing. Discipline is more important than ever, if I am to continue to prosper.

I've learned so much in the passed two years, that it is just amazing. In fact, two years ago, I was still very much a kid, a young adult. In these two years, I've been tested, I've made mistakes, and I've learned. And no matter what, I didn't drink. :-)