My Ethnicity versus My Hometown

Several nights ago, my friend, Julio & I were at Blake's. We were having a particularly good time considering the fact that it was a Monday night in December, and very few people were out. It was also fairly late when we got there, but the DJ started playing some older stuff after he played his requisite Rhianna, Britney, Madonna, etc. The crowd got really into it, and Julio, being the avid dancer he is, pulled me into the "dance area" of the bar. We danced to Donna Summer, Michael Jackson, and C+C Music Factory, among others.

Julio was being flirty, as usual, so we met some people we hadn't previously met. One was particularly interested in Julio, so Julio gave him his number. Afterwards, Julio moved onto the next guy, an older gentleman who happened to be a very good dancer. I say older, but he was probably my age. As they chatted over by the bar, I sat at one of the hightops next to the windows. Guy #1 came over to me and introduced himself to me. He wore a baseball cap and was probably in his mid-20s. Without a second to waste, he asked me, "Where are you from?"

"New York," I answered.

"Duh," he said.

"What?"

"Beyond that," he said.

"Are you asking me what my ethnicity is?" I asked.

"Ummm, yeah," he answered.

"Well, where I'm from and my ethnicity are two different things," I reasoned with him, who was visibly intoxicated. "My Mom is from El Salvador, and my Dad is American of Irish and Welsh descent."

I don't know why I chose a drunk, country boy in Atlanta to correct, but I guess I was a little frustrated with this simple, yet slightly offensive concept.

Almost every day, a person wants to ask me "What are you?" And, unfortunately, here in Georgia, fewer than most people know how to ask. I'm very used to the inquiry, which I get almost every single time I meet a new person, but after having lived in Atlanta for three years, I guess I want people to ask me with some discretion instead of blurting something out that says to me, "You are different, and we don't see folks like you around much."

I was born in Greenwich, Connecticut, where I went to high school, but I grew up in Port Chester, New York. After high school, I moved to Boston to go to college. I'm very proud of my ethnic heritage, and I've been to El Salvador and Ireland, both more than once. They're both beautiful countries, and I want to explore them further. However, I've never lived in any other country other than the United States. So, when a person asks me where I'm from, my first assumption is to answer the question with the proper answer. I don't see why I have to assume that the person asking is more interested in where my parents, grandparents, and ancestors are from.

I didn't get upset with drunkie at the bar, but I did correct a person for the first time, and I don't think I was wrong to. In Boston, where I lived for eleven years prior to my move to Atlanta, people were just as curious to know what my ethnicity is, but they asked with discretion. Here, people don't realize that when they ask one thing, and mean something else, they are pointing out the fact that I look different than they do, and that I'm the one who's different. It's crass and ignorant, but it isn't ill-intentioned. So, what am I to do?

I just want to put this out there so that people will think about this a little differently. The United States is made up of all different kinds of people, and we all need to exercise a little sensitivity when we want to ask about each other's differences. We should really stop thinking that there is more of one type of person than another, or that this demographic is smaller than that one. Let's embrace diversity! Let's instead complement each other on our exotic looks and forget about our parents. We're all individuals and we should be proud of heritage, but the here-and-now is what is most important, so let's assume we're all Americans, and let's talk about sex instead!