It's been a few days since M & I broke up, and I'm still a little down in the dumps. What sucks the most is that we were so good together, but we both knew it wasn't going to work out. I know we'll be good friends, and that our relationship will evolve into what it was meant to be, but for now, I need to just keep my head up. I need to avoid blaming myself or him, and I need to avoid entertaining negative thoughts that might depress me. Most importantly, I need to avoid drinking alcohol over this. They say, we drink over the little things, and because this was a short-lived affair, it would fall into this dangerous category.
I'm not worried, though. Drinking is not something I'm contemplating. However, I am seriously thinking about finding some naive trick to rebound with. I'm sure some would say, "Go for it," and I'm not saying I won't. I'm only human, but I'm not sure how disrupted my serenity would be after such a fling. Do I really want to introduce more drama into my life?
Tonight, M & I are going to go out to Swinging Richard's. . . as friends. And at this point, I'm very happy to have him as a friend because he's an awesome guy.
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Monday, February 23, 2009
Have I found love in Redneck Georgia?
So, for the passed few weeks, I've been seeing this new guy, who I shall call M, for the purposes of privacy. We seem to have a lot in common, and there's definitely a lot of electricity between us. He's a very attractive, intelligent twenty-eight year-old architect from Baton Rouge. We established early on that we're both unconventional guys. I mean, our first date was at Swinging Richard's, if that says anything about us. Then again, my relationships have always been "progressive" in more ways than one.
It's been almost two years to the day that I've been single, and as thrilled as I am, I know much adjustment will have to occur. For instance, I'm working at the gym tonight, and my flirtatious nature is more prevalent to myself than usual. Not that I'm any more flirty than I usually am, it's just more obvious now that I've been in a relationship for the last twenty-four hours. Also, in the passed two years, I've become the happy bachelor, going out with friends and having fun while not necessarily looking for anyone or anything. I've become quite accustomed to having my own space, in my own bed, in my own decision-making, and especially in going wherever, whenever.
In my passed relationships, and especially in my marriage, I've seen the two components of a relationship more as a single "unit." I would consider the other person when grocery shopping, making plans with others, and deciding on the next city to live in, among other things. So, I know it's going to be like that. But I'm also a different person now. I've been without an alcoholic drink for twenty-seven months next week, so hopefully, I'm less selfish. I can only imagine that a relationship without my drinking would have to be infinitely better than relationships with. I've also done a lot of growing up in the passed two years. Desires to go out all the time because I was afraid I was going to miss something social have become far fewer. And socializing has become a much more productive activity. Now, I like to attend functions rather than see what's going on in the back-room of a dingy club. I guess I've gotten more than a few things out of my system.
Anyway, the real story lies in the activities of this passed weekend. M had been spending the week in Quitman, GA, which is just west of Valdosta, and about eight miles north of the Florida border. He was making some extra cash at his friends' antique store, and he asked me to visit for the weekend. I got off to a late start on Saturday, but I had just bought new tires in preparation, so I was speeding along I-75 at warp speed. I met them at a Mardi-Gras party at this tiny Cajun bar/restaurant in the middle of nowhere a mile north of Florida. The people were very sweet, however, we refrained from any public displays of affection. We smoked, ate, and drank (diet Coke for me), and then we went to this place called, Rascals. For as long as I live, I'll never forget Rascals. The only way I can describe it accurately is it was like a modern-day skinhead party with more hair, less hate, and no gowns. Fortunately, we were travelling in a large group, so we were pretty safe among the white, Baptist, illiterate republicans. As I watched them dance to music I didn't know, I realized that all they had to do was meet us, and they'd be cool with us. They weren't hateful people; they knew what they knew because that's all they know! It was an eye-opening experience.
From there, we went to Charley O's, which was an old, Irish pub with a good band, and a more progressive crowd. They had a couple of hot bartenders who served as very nice eye-candy. We chilled there for a bit, but M & I were getting a little anxious for some "alone time." We took M's friend's house key and headed home. That night, for lack of a better term, M sealed the deal with me. I was ready for a relationship.
The next morning, M's friends took us to this very inexpensive soul food type restaurant. The food was amazing! I had heard of really excellent Southern cooking, and I think this was my first experience of exceptional Southern cooking. We ate like pigs, and then went home and napped. We awoke in a panic when we realized that we were not going to make it back to Atlanta by the beginning of the Oscars. But by that time, nothing else mattered. I wanted M to be my first boyfriend in two years, and in sobriety.
We had separate cars, so we followed each other on the way home. I made sure he knew that we'd stop at least once for coffee. He's well aware, by this time, of my addiction to coffee. But we also stopped to eat at a Hardee's, and as we both got out of our cars, I told him I was ready, and that I wanted him to be my boyfriend. We kissed in the parking lot, not caring about who might see. We then ate our hamburgers and fries with new-found excitement. When we got home, we watched the remainder of the Oscars, and I cried when Sean Penn won for "best actor" for Milk. What a great weekend!
The next few weeks will be interesting to say the least. M has decided to do some vegan cleansing ritual for the next 21 days. He can't smoke or drink, so I told him I might give him some room this week. I've learned from passed experience that a boyfriend without cigarettes is a complete bitch, so until we get together again, I'll be on this side of Atlanta, and M can stay on THAT side!
It's been almost two years to the day that I've been single, and as thrilled as I am, I know much adjustment will have to occur. For instance, I'm working at the gym tonight, and my flirtatious nature is more prevalent to myself than usual. Not that I'm any more flirty than I usually am, it's just more obvious now that I've been in a relationship for the last twenty-four hours. Also, in the passed two years, I've become the happy bachelor, going out with friends and having fun while not necessarily looking for anyone or anything. I've become quite accustomed to having my own space, in my own bed, in my own decision-making, and especially in going wherever, whenever.
In my passed relationships, and especially in my marriage, I've seen the two components of a relationship more as a single "unit." I would consider the other person when grocery shopping, making plans with others, and deciding on the next city to live in, among other things. So, I know it's going to be like that. But I'm also a different person now. I've been without an alcoholic drink for twenty-seven months next week, so hopefully, I'm less selfish. I can only imagine that a relationship without my drinking would have to be infinitely better than relationships with. I've also done a lot of growing up in the passed two years. Desires to go out all the time because I was afraid I was going to miss something social have become far fewer. And socializing has become a much more productive activity. Now, I like to attend functions rather than see what's going on in the back-room of a dingy club. I guess I've gotten more than a few things out of my system.
Anyway, the real story lies in the activities of this passed weekend. M had been spending the week in Quitman, GA, which is just west of Valdosta, and about eight miles north of the Florida border. He was making some extra cash at his friends' antique store, and he asked me to visit for the weekend. I got off to a late start on Saturday, but I had just bought new tires in preparation, so I was speeding along I-75 at warp speed. I met them at a Mardi-Gras party at this tiny Cajun bar/restaurant in the middle of nowhere a mile north of Florida. The people were very sweet, however, we refrained from any public displays of affection. We smoked, ate, and drank (diet Coke for me), and then we went to this place called, Rascals. For as long as I live, I'll never forget Rascals. The only way I can describe it accurately is it was like a modern-day skinhead party with more hair, less hate, and no gowns. Fortunately, we were travelling in a large group, so we were pretty safe among the white, Baptist, illiterate republicans. As I watched them dance to music I didn't know, I realized that all they had to do was meet us, and they'd be cool with us. They weren't hateful people; they knew what they knew because that's all they know! It was an eye-opening experience.
From there, we went to Charley O's, which was an old, Irish pub with a good band, and a more progressive crowd. They had a couple of hot bartenders who served as very nice eye-candy. We chilled there for a bit, but M & I were getting a little anxious for some "alone time." We took M's friend's house key and headed home. That night, for lack of a better term, M sealed the deal with me. I was ready for a relationship.
The next morning, M's friends took us to this very inexpensive soul food type restaurant. The food was amazing! I had heard of really excellent Southern cooking, and I think this was my first experience of exceptional Southern cooking. We ate like pigs, and then went home and napped. We awoke in a panic when we realized that we were not going to make it back to Atlanta by the beginning of the Oscars. But by that time, nothing else mattered. I wanted M to be my first boyfriend in two years, and in sobriety.
We had separate cars, so we followed each other on the way home. I made sure he knew that we'd stop at least once for coffee. He's well aware, by this time, of my addiction to coffee. But we also stopped to eat at a Hardee's, and as we both got out of our cars, I told him I was ready, and that I wanted him to be my boyfriend. We kissed in the parking lot, not caring about who might see. We then ate our hamburgers and fries with new-found excitement. When we got home, we watched the remainder of the Oscars, and I cried when Sean Penn won for "best actor" for Milk. What a great weekend!
The next few weeks will be interesting to say the least. M has decided to do some vegan cleansing ritual for the next 21 days. He can't smoke or drink, so I told him I might give him some room this week. I've learned from passed experience that a boyfriend without cigarettes is a complete bitch, so until we get together again, I'll be on this side of Atlanta, and M can stay on THAT side!
Thursday, January 8, 2009
There's Nothing Like the Present
It's 2009, and I'm SOOOO living in the present right now. I knew the new year would be better than the last, but I totally didn't think things would improve as quickly as they have! I can barely keep up, actually!
A couple of weeks ago, I was planning on moving to a new, one-bedroom apartment in the same apartment complex I'd lived in for almost two years, the Aventine on Sidney Marcus in Buckhead. But at the very last minute, like on December 30th, my good friend Jeffrey invited me to move into his huge, beautiful townhouse off Buford Highway. It all happened within the blink of an eye: I got back my rent check from the Aventine for January, and moved into Jeffrey's. Business hasn't been great for anyone lately, and Jeffrey decided that renting out the guest bedroom would help him out.
So, for the first time in over two years, I walked into the liquor store at Ansley Mall. Nothing had changed, and all the vodkas were still in the same place. Before you freak out, I wasn't buying it for myself. In fact, I bought it and some pizza as incentives for my friends to help me move. I hate to move, and I couldn't do it alone. After I threw out half of my worldly belongings and gave the other half away to a young college student moving into the same complex, I moved into Sterling Oaks, a gated community just north of North Druid Hills. It's perfect. I'm so happy!
Pumba & Simba now have a new friend! His name is Max, and he's Jeffrey's dog. I don't know much about dogs, so I don't know what type of dog he is, but he's a tiny, fluffy lap-dog. He's very cute, and he doesn't know what cats are. The three of them are taking their time adjusting to each other, but no violence has broken out, and they pretty much just examine each other from afar. It's interesting to watch them as they try to figure things out. My kitties have already grown accustomed to their new home, and they seem to be quite happy. I was a little apprehensive at first, but things are turning out okay.
Aside from my new residence, other aspects of my life are improving as well. One of my best friends, Jay, left the gym, so we needed to fill in some hours. So, I picked up some extra hours despite my fear of working too much. It's an irrational fear, and I need the money! My new part-time gig with Will, the event-designer is good! It's flexible, and because it's mostly organizational work, I find it to be quite easy.
My two hot real estate leads cooled to warm, at best. But my investor-client purchased not one, but TWO properties this week. They were both cash deals, so we closed both very quickly. That commission comes in quite handy as I try to improve my financial status. Things have gotten to be pretty tough for people, and we really need to make money however we can (honestly, of course). A very close friend of mine just got the word that his position will be eliminated soon, so I just sent out an email to friends who might know of anyone looking for an accountant. I'm sure he won't be the only friend I know who is facing a lay-off.
So, for now, things are good in my life, however, I'll try to look out for my friends as best as I can. I've been listening to Oprah's radio channel 156 on XM a lot lately, and it's inspired me to "live my best life" by living a more spiritual life. And that includes taking care of myself and my family & friends. It's very AA; I highly recommend it to everyone.
Take care, and have a fabulous 2009!
A couple of weeks ago, I was planning on moving to a new, one-bedroom apartment in the same apartment complex I'd lived in for almost two years, the Aventine on Sidney Marcus in Buckhead. But at the very last minute, like on December 30th, my good friend Jeffrey invited me to move into his huge, beautiful townhouse off Buford Highway. It all happened within the blink of an eye: I got back my rent check from the Aventine for January, and moved into Jeffrey's. Business hasn't been great for anyone lately, and Jeffrey decided that renting out the guest bedroom would help him out.
So, for the first time in over two years, I walked into the liquor store at Ansley Mall. Nothing had changed, and all the vodkas were still in the same place. Before you freak out, I wasn't buying it for myself. In fact, I bought it and some pizza as incentives for my friends to help me move. I hate to move, and I couldn't do it alone. After I threw out half of my worldly belongings and gave the other half away to a young college student moving into the same complex, I moved into Sterling Oaks, a gated community just north of North Druid Hills. It's perfect. I'm so happy!
Pumba & Simba now have a new friend! His name is Max, and he's Jeffrey's dog. I don't know much about dogs, so I don't know what type of dog he is, but he's a tiny, fluffy lap-dog. He's very cute, and he doesn't know what cats are. The three of them are taking their time adjusting to each other, but no violence has broken out, and they pretty much just examine each other from afar. It's interesting to watch them as they try to figure things out. My kitties have already grown accustomed to their new home, and they seem to be quite happy. I was a little apprehensive at first, but things are turning out okay.
Aside from my new residence, other aspects of my life are improving as well. One of my best friends, Jay, left the gym, so we needed to fill in some hours. So, I picked up some extra hours despite my fear of working too much. It's an irrational fear, and I need the money! My new part-time gig with Will, the event-designer is good! It's flexible, and because it's mostly organizational work, I find it to be quite easy.
My two hot real estate leads cooled to warm, at best. But my investor-client purchased not one, but TWO properties this week. They were both cash deals, so we closed both very quickly. That commission comes in quite handy as I try to improve my financial status. Things have gotten to be pretty tough for people, and we really need to make money however we can (honestly, of course). A very close friend of mine just got the word that his position will be eliminated soon, so I just sent out an email to friends who might know of anyone looking for an accountant. I'm sure he won't be the only friend I know who is facing a lay-off.
So, for now, things are good in my life, however, I'll try to look out for my friends as best as I can. I've been listening to Oprah's radio channel 156 on XM a lot lately, and it's inspired me to "live my best life" by living a more spiritual life. And that includes taking care of myself and my family & friends. It's very AA; I highly recommend it to everyone.
Take care, and have a fabulous 2009!
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
My Ethnicity versus My Hometown
Several nights ago, my friend, Julio & I were at Blake's. We were having a particularly good time considering the fact that it was a Monday night in December, and very few people were out. It was also fairly late when we got there, but the DJ started playing some older stuff after he played his requisite Rhianna, Britney, Madonna, etc. The crowd got really into it, and Julio, being the avid dancer he is, pulled me into the "dance area" of the bar. We danced to Donna Summer, Michael Jackson, and C+C Music Factory, among others.
Julio was being flirty, as usual, so we met some people we hadn't previously met. One was particularly interested in Julio, so Julio gave him his number. Afterwards, Julio moved onto the next guy, an older gentleman who happened to be a very good dancer. I say older, but he was probably my age. As they chatted over by the bar, I sat at one of the hightops next to the windows. Guy #1 came over to me and introduced himself to me. He wore a baseball cap and was probably in his mid-20s. Without a second to waste, he asked me, "Where are you from?"
"New York," I answered.
"Duh," he said.
"What?"
"Beyond that," he said.
"Are you asking me what my ethnicity is?" I asked.
"Ummm, yeah," he answered.
"Well, where I'm from and my ethnicity are two different things," I reasoned with him, who was visibly intoxicated. "My Mom is from El Salvador, and my Dad is American of Irish and Welsh descent."
I don't know why I chose a drunk, country boy in Atlanta to correct, but I guess I was a little frustrated with this simple, yet slightly offensive concept.
Almost every day, a person wants to ask me "What are you?" And, unfortunately, here in Georgia, fewer than most people know how to ask. I'm very used to the inquiry, which I get almost every single time I meet a new person, but after having lived in Atlanta for three years, I guess I want people to ask me with some discretion instead of blurting something out that says to me, "You are different, and we don't see folks like you around much."
I was born in Greenwich, Connecticut, where I went to high school, but I grew up in Port Chester, New York. After high school, I moved to Boston to go to college. I'm very proud of my ethnic heritage, and I've been to El Salvador and Ireland, both more than once. They're both beautiful countries, and I want to explore them further. However, I've never lived in any other country other than the United States. So, when a person asks me where I'm from, my first assumption is to answer the question with the proper answer. I don't see why I have to assume that the person asking is more interested in where my parents, grandparents, and ancestors are from.
I didn't get upset with drunkie at the bar, but I did correct a person for the first time, and I don't think I was wrong to. In Boston, where I lived for eleven years prior to my move to Atlanta, people were just as curious to know what my ethnicity is, but they asked with discretion. Here, people don't realize that when they ask one thing, and mean something else, they are pointing out the fact that I look different than they do, and that I'm the one who's different. It's crass and ignorant, but it isn't ill-intentioned. So, what am I to do?
I just want to put this out there so that people will think about this a little differently. The United States is made up of all different kinds of people, and we all need to exercise a little sensitivity when we want to ask about each other's differences. We should really stop thinking that there is more of one type of person than another, or that this demographic is smaller than that one. Let's embrace diversity! Let's instead complement each other on our exotic looks and forget about our parents. We're all individuals and we should be proud of heritage, but the here-and-now is what is most important, so let's assume we're all Americans, and let's talk about sex instead!
Julio was being flirty, as usual, so we met some people we hadn't previously met. One was particularly interested in Julio, so Julio gave him his number. Afterwards, Julio moved onto the next guy, an older gentleman who happened to be a very good dancer. I say older, but he was probably my age. As they chatted over by the bar, I sat at one of the hightops next to the windows. Guy #1 came over to me and introduced himself to me. He wore a baseball cap and was probably in his mid-20s. Without a second to waste, he asked me, "Where are you from?"
"New York," I answered.
"Duh," he said.
"What?"
"Beyond that," he said.
"Are you asking me what my ethnicity is?" I asked.
"Ummm, yeah," he answered.
"Well, where I'm from and my ethnicity are two different things," I reasoned with him, who was visibly intoxicated. "My Mom is from El Salvador, and my Dad is American of Irish and Welsh descent."
I don't know why I chose a drunk, country boy in Atlanta to correct, but I guess I was a little frustrated with this simple, yet slightly offensive concept.
Almost every day, a person wants to ask me "What are you?" And, unfortunately, here in Georgia, fewer than most people know how to ask. I'm very used to the inquiry, which I get almost every single time I meet a new person, but after having lived in Atlanta for three years, I guess I want people to ask me with some discretion instead of blurting something out that says to me, "You are different, and we don't see folks like you around much."
I was born in Greenwich, Connecticut, where I went to high school, but I grew up in Port Chester, New York. After high school, I moved to Boston to go to college. I'm very proud of my ethnic heritage, and I've been to El Salvador and Ireland, both more than once. They're both beautiful countries, and I want to explore them further. However, I've never lived in any other country other than the United States. So, when a person asks me where I'm from, my first assumption is to answer the question with the proper answer. I don't see why I have to assume that the person asking is more interested in where my parents, grandparents, and ancestors are from.
I didn't get upset with drunkie at the bar, but I did correct a person for the first time, and I don't think I was wrong to. In Boston, where I lived for eleven years prior to my move to Atlanta, people were just as curious to know what my ethnicity is, but they asked with discretion. Here, people don't realize that when they ask one thing, and mean something else, they are pointing out the fact that I look different than they do, and that I'm the one who's different. It's crass and ignorant, but it isn't ill-intentioned. So, what am I to do?
I just want to put this out there so that people will think about this a little differently. The United States is made up of all different kinds of people, and we all need to exercise a little sensitivity when we want to ask about each other's differences. We should really stop thinking that there is more of one type of person than another, or that this demographic is smaller than that one. Let's embrace diversity! Let's instead complement each other on our exotic looks and forget about our parents. We're all individuals and we should be proud of heritage, but the here-and-now is what is most important, so let's assume we're all Americans, and let's talk about sex instead!
Thursday, December 4, 2008
Two Years Without Alcohol . . .
. . . and I don't miss it at all!
Today is a truly awesome day. It feels like just another day, except people in all aspects of my life are congratulating me, mostly in person and via text messages. The Program Director of Purple Treatment called me a "Miracle" today. That blew me away! But I guess it is a miracle. I went from being completely dependent upon alcohol to check my email, go grocery shopping, to simply meet with another human being; to knowing and understanding the truth: that I don't need alcohol for anything. And that, in fact, I am a pretty cool guy who should be secure and confident. When I drank, I feared life. Without it, I relish life.
I woke up today with some negativity swirling around in my head. I realized it was my AA Birthday, and I knew I had to promptly get out of bed and seize the day to fully appreciate and celebrate the occasion. I also had a busy day scheduled. I devoted the morning to Mark's home search, so I got ready, ate breakfast at Waffle House, and waited for him to pick me up. We saw one listing Mark liked out of the several, but we had to be back around noon so that he could get to work on time.
I picked up my car at my mechanic's and drove home. I had been without my car for almost two weeks, and because of the cold weather and Atlanta's incompetent transit system, MARTA, I was ready to pull my newly grown long hair out. I was so happy to get my car back! It was like receiving a present for my birthday! I went home, and had a long lunch with Pumba & Simba. I had to be at the gym at 3, and because I forgot how quickly it is to get around with a car, I got there early, just in time to get a free manicure from Helmet's new Nail Technician, CJ. She's a very sweet woman who is an expert with nails, in fact, she finds it relaxing to do nails.
In recent months, I've become more carefree with my alcoholic status. So, my co-workers and many gym members were congratulating me. Meanwhile, friends & family in Chicago, Boston, San Diego, and Connecticut were texting me their well-wishes. My boss & best friend, Jay, bought me dinner tonight from one of my favorite restaurants in the ATL, Top Spice. Another best friend, Mo, suggested that we have a Chocolate Party to celebrate this weekend. What a cool idea!
I'm happy. I'm really happy. My life is really coming together nicely. I'm moving into my own apartment at the end of the month because my roommate's parents came to Atlanta from Houston to get him, and I'm finally making money! I started a second part-time job as the assistant to a very busy, large-scale event planner to supplement my income, and I love it! In fact, I've been so busy this week, that I haven't worked this much since I worked at Joe's on Juniper last Spring. Some days, I start with real estate at 9 a.m., and finish with the gym at 11 p.m., and I'm happy to be busy. If I have time on my hands to do nothing, negative thoughts permeate my brain, and things become unpleasant and uncomfortable. I also have control over my own schedule, which is a wonderful, yet dangerous thing. Discipline is more important than ever, if I am to continue to prosper.
I've learned so much in the passed two years, that it is just amazing. In fact, two years ago, I was still very much a kid, a young adult. In these two years, I've been tested, I've made mistakes, and I've learned. And no matter what, I didn't drink. :-)
Today is a truly awesome day. It feels like just another day, except people in all aspects of my life are congratulating me, mostly in person and via text messages. The Program Director of Purple Treatment called me a "Miracle" today. That blew me away! But I guess it is a miracle. I went from being completely dependent upon alcohol to check my email, go grocery shopping, to simply meet with another human being; to knowing and understanding the truth: that I don't need alcohol for anything. And that, in fact, I am a pretty cool guy who should be secure and confident. When I drank, I feared life. Without it, I relish life.
I woke up today with some negativity swirling around in my head. I realized it was my AA Birthday, and I knew I had to promptly get out of bed and seize the day to fully appreciate and celebrate the occasion. I also had a busy day scheduled. I devoted the morning to Mark's home search, so I got ready, ate breakfast at Waffle House, and waited for him to pick me up. We saw one listing Mark liked out of the several, but we had to be back around noon so that he could get to work on time.
I picked up my car at my mechanic's and drove home. I had been without my car for almost two weeks, and because of the cold weather and Atlanta's incompetent transit system, MARTA, I was ready to pull my newly grown long hair out. I was so happy to get my car back! It was like receiving a present for my birthday! I went home, and had a long lunch with Pumba & Simba. I had to be at the gym at 3, and because I forgot how quickly it is to get around with a car, I got there early, just in time to get a free manicure from Helmet's new Nail Technician, CJ. She's a very sweet woman who is an expert with nails, in fact, she finds it relaxing to do nails.
In recent months, I've become more carefree with my alcoholic status. So, my co-workers and many gym members were congratulating me. Meanwhile, friends & family in Chicago, Boston, San Diego, and Connecticut were texting me their well-wishes. My boss & best friend, Jay, bought me dinner tonight from one of my favorite restaurants in the ATL, Top Spice. Another best friend, Mo, suggested that we have a Chocolate Party to celebrate this weekend. What a cool idea!
I'm happy. I'm really happy. My life is really coming together nicely. I'm moving into my own apartment at the end of the month because my roommate's parents came to Atlanta from Houston to get him, and I'm finally making money! I started a second part-time job as the assistant to a very busy, large-scale event planner to supplement my income, and I love it! In fact, I've been so busy this week, that I haven't worked this much since I worked at Joe's on Juniper last Spring. Some days, I start with real estate at 9 a.m., and finish with the gym at 11 p.m., and I'm happy to be busy. If I have time on my hands to do nothing, negative thoughts permeate my brain, and things become unpleasant and uncomfortable. I also have control over my own schedule, which is a wonderful, yet dangerous thing. Discipline is more important than ever, if I am to continue to prosper.
I've learned so much in the passed two years, that it is just amazing. In fact, two years ago, I was still very much a kid, a young adult. In these two years, I've been tested, I've made mistakes, and I've learned. And no matter what, I didn't drink. :-)
Friday, November 28, 2008
What A Fabulous Thanksgiving!
It's very early in the morning, and I'm just reflecting on the Thanksgiving I had. I got home about an hour ago, but I'm gonna start at twenty-four hours ago.
Julio & I were out at Blake's last night, & we were pretty bored. We were at Jay's bar chatting with him, but the rest of the crowd weren't doing enough for us, so we decided to head to Heretic. I'd heard that the night before Thanksgiving was the club's busiest night of the year. And I traditionally go out the night before holidays because it's what the gay community has done for years in the Big Apple & Beantown. Julio was driving, & I was texting Jeremy. I had seen him the night before, & he mentioned that he was thinking Heretic, too.
We got to the club & ran into several guys from the gym, so we made our rounds & noticed that the club wasn't enforcing the dress code, which was a little disappointing. Normally on Wednesday nights, one must remove his shirt or be dressed in leather/fetishwear to get into the dance area. We were hanging out with Mark, Allen, Eddie, & Trey when Jeremy walked in. Julio & Trey had claimed to have never met my Ex, but when Jeremy joined us, they knew him. So, I was like, "How do you guys all know each other?" I had forgotten that Jeremy was a member of Gravity Fitness for a brief month before he joined a fitness activity that only included a "cowbell" for the low, low price of $80/mo. He never was the expert decision-maker; and he still follows fads. By the way, he's a great person.
We danced all night & worked up an appetite, so Julio & I went to Waffle House at 3 a.m., which we love to do because we're morning people. It was freezing inside, as usual, so I kept my coat on. As we decided on which type of grease we were in the mood for, we watched & listened to the boisterous table of drag queens who insisted upon entertaining the whole restaurant. They were funny, at first, but they were so over-the-top melodramatic & drunk that they quickly became annoying. A tension developed, & one of the servers started to become annoyed and said something to them. A drag queen called her a dyke, & the fun was over.
No less than seven cop cars showed up, & a cop ushered the drag queens out. We finished our food as I told Julio that after going through the fiasco of just one DUI in my life, I would never argue with a cop who could easily arrest me as the drag queens were doing. Julio dropped me off at home at 4:30 a.m., and I went to bed that Thanksgiving morning very thankful to be going to bed in my own bed with my kitties snuggled up with me.
--
I wanted to sleep in & catch up on my rest, so I didn't get out of bed until well into the afternoon, and I didn't even feel bad about it! I made some coffee, heated up some leftovers, & fed Pumba & Simba tuna fish especially for Thanksgiving Day. Since it was late in the day, I had already received a bunch of well-wishing texts, which is a new Thanksgiving phenomenon. So, I plugged my cell phone into my laptop & responded. I also sent out a mass text to those I hadn't yet heard from. As I drank coffee & waited for all the messages to be sent, I spoke to my parents & Seamus in New York. It was so good to hear from them! I decided that I must go home for Christmas.
Since it was a holiday that I was not spending with my family, I wanted to spend time with others in recovery. I called Rand, & he was kind enough to offer to pick me up for the 8 p.m. Rooms to Grow meeting at the Galano Club. I've been without personal transportation since Monday when my car broke down. It needs a new starter which I think I'll be able to get tomorrow. Rand was Discussion Leader at the meeting, & because it was Thanksgiving, he appropriately chose Gratitude as the topic. Everyone shared wonderful things they were grateful for, & I pondered my own sobriety & the friends & family I'm grateful for. Next week, God-willing, I'll be picking up a chip for living without alcohol for two years. It's a really wonderful thing.
After the meeting, Brian, Rand, & I decided to see the movie, Milk, which was an amazing & important movie all gay people should see. It follows the historic political career of Harvey Milk in San Francisco in the '70s. Wow! What an inspiring story! The three of us went to Blake's after, and I told people that the movie has inspired me to run for office, specifically, mayor of Atlanta! My first night of campaigning went quite well. The several people I asked to vote for me said they absolutely will, so I'm off to a good start!
Tomorrow's gonna be a busy one, so I'm off to bed. What a fabulous Thanksgiving!
Julio & I were out at Blake's last night, & we were pretty bored. We were at Jay's bar chatting with him, but the rest of the crowd weren't doing enough for us, so we decided to head to Heretic. I'd heard that the night before Thanksgiving was the club's busiest night of the year. And I traditionally go out the night before holidays because it's what the gay community has done for years in the Big Apple & Beantown. Julio was driving, & I was texting Jeremy. I had seen him the night before, & he mentioned that he was thinking Heretic, too.
We got to the club & ran into several guys from the gym, so we made our rounds & noticed that the club wasn't enforcing the dress code, which was a little disappointing. Normally on Wednesday nights, one must remove his shirt or be dressed in leather/fetishwear to get into the dance area. We were hanging out with Mark, Allen, Eddie, & Trey when Jeremy walked in. Julio & Trey had claimed to have never met my Ex, but when Jeremy joined us, they knew him. So, I was like, "How do you guys all know each other?" I had forgotten that Jeremy was a member of Gravity Fitness for a brief month before he joined a fitness activity that only included a "cowbell" for the low, low price of $80/mo. He never was the expert decision-maker; and he still follows fads. By the way, he's a great person.
We danced all night & worked up an appetite, so Julio & I went to Waffle House at 3 a.m., which we love to do because we're morning people. It was freezing inside, as usual, so I kept my coat on. As we decided on which type of grease we were in the mood for, we watched & listened to the boisterous table of drag queens who insisted upon entertaining the whole restaurant. They were funny, at first, but they were so over-the-top melodramatic & drunk that they quickly became annoying. A tension developed, & one of the servers started to become annoyed and said something to them. A drag queen called her a dyke, & the fun was over.
No less than seven cop cars showed up, & a cop ushered the drag queens out. We finished our food as I told Julio that after going through the fiasco of just one DUI in my life, I would never argue with a cop who could easily arrest me as the drag queens were doing. Julio dropped me off at home at 4:30 a.m., and I went to bed that Thanksgiving morning very thankful to be going to bed in my own bed with my kitties snuggled up with me.
--
I wanted to sleep in & catch up on my rest, so I didn't get out of bed until well into the afternoon, and I didn't even feel bad about it! I made some coffee, heated up some leftovers, & fed Pumba & Simba tuna fish especially for Thanksgiving Day. Since it was late in the day, I had already received a bunch of well-wishing texts, which is a new Thanksgiving phenomenon. So, I plugged my cell phone into my laptop & responded. I also sent out a mass text to those I hadn't yet heard from. As I drank coffee & waited for all the messages to be sent, I spoke to my parents & Seamus in New York. It was so good to hear from them! I decided that I must go home for Christmas.
Since it was a holiday that I was not spending with my family, I wanted to spend time with others in recovery. I called Rand, & he was kind enough to offer to pick me up for the 8 p.m. Rooms to Grow meeting at the Galano Club. I've been without personal transportation since Monday when my car broke down. It needs a new starter which I think I'll be able to get tomorrow. Rand was Discussion Leader at the meeting, & because it was Thanksgiving, he appropriately chose Gratitude as the topic. Everyone shared wonderful things they were grateful for, & I pondered my own sobriety & the friends & family I'm grateful for. Next week, God-willing, I'll be picking up a chip for living without alcohol for two years. It's a really wonderful thing.
After the meeting, Brian, Rand, & I decided to see the movie, Milk, which was an amazing & important movie all gay people should see. It follows the historic political career of Harvey Milk in San Francisco in the '70s. Wow! What an inspiring story! The three of us went to Blake's after, and I told people that the movie has inspired me to run for office, specifically, mayor of Atlanta! My first night of campaigning went quite well. The several people I asked to vote for me said they absolutely will, so I'm off to a good start!
Tomorrow's gonna be a busy one, so I'm off to bed. What a fabulous Thanksgiving!
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
An Exploratory Phase
I met someone recently. I'm not going to divulge much, mainly to protect his privacy; but I do wish I could write everything down! I also must be very sensitive about which details I mention because others don't quite see him the way I do. I'm not the type to listen to others much for relationship advice, however, I did ask for opinions, and I got opinions I didn't quite want to hear. Anyway, I appreciate the fact that my friends think highly of me, and I understand that they are hoping I'll wait for someone perfect to come along; but I see a lot of goodness in this person, and I want to explore a bit further.
I felt a little insecure at first because of our substantial age difference. That went away today. I offered to take him to the DMV this morning so that he turn in his Florida license, get a Georgia one, and register to vote all at once. I had some things I had to do today, but I got up really early (very unlike me), and I wanted to spend time with him. Not to mention, this upcoming election is extremely important, because of how it relates to me, of course. If the republicans happen to win again, I'm moving to a resort town in Mexico, probably Puerto Vallarta, because of how gay it is. Once I'm confident about my Spanish, I'll move to Spain to marry a beautiful man
and live happily ever after, and the United States can suffer at the hands of the oppressors!
Okay, back from my tangent! Before we went to the DMV, we stopped for a bite at Flying Biscuit, and I felt as though the age difference only matters if I let it. It's actually extremely refreshing to spend time with someone younger, and I certainly don't have to act my age around him! It's kind of like an escape. I'm also learning a lot about video games and music; and I certainly don't think it's a waste of time because there is so much going on today that I can't keep track of that is really shaping our future. If I didn't have such experiences, I'd grow up to be an ignorant old geezer who can't work any new gadgets. That would be a nightmare! I must keep with the times!
After the DMV, we went to the FMLS office in Sandy Springs because I needed to activate a couple of lockboxes on my account that I bought from eBay. He's so laid back as young people are, that he was happy to accompany me. I thought we should do something fun after that, so we stopped in at the costume shop next to Gravity Fitness to get ideas for Halloween, which is in only one month. He's an extremely gifted artist, and he brought along a sketch of a woodland nymph he wanted to be. I've seen some of his work, and the sketch was very detailed, like his other drawings. We tried on several things, and we had a really fun time figuring out what we might dress up as. I don't always enjoy the whole Halloween production because, in the past, I've felt that the holiday overshadows my birthday, which is the day before. But this year, I'll go with the flow and embrace Halloween by having a masquerade birthday party, which Ernesto is going to plan, possibly with the help of Sparkles.
I guess that's what I'm doing with Nymph, just going with the flow. I don't know what to expect, and I'm not even sure what I want. I've been happily single for many months, but the passed couple of weeks have been fun, and I've enjoyed getting to know him. In the past, I've needed to be in control of every situation, so it's new and different to have a more passive attitude. It's nice! It's cool! It's also really wonderful to not be with someone who's trying to control me!! Wow! He doesn't mind what I do with my time, and he respects my privacy. This is still very early on, and expectations are low, so things may progress. I don't know. Regardless of what happens, I'm going to have fun exploring!
I felt a little insecure at first because of our substantial age difference. That went away today. I offered to take him to the DMV this morning so that he turn in his Florida license, get a Georgia one, and register to vote all at once. I had some things I had to do today, but I got up really early (very unlike me), and I wanted to spend time with him. Not to mention, this upcoming election is extremely important, because of how it relates to me, of course. If the republicans happen to win again, I'm moving to a resort town in Mexico, probably Puerto Vallarta, because of how gay it is. Once I'm confident about my Spanish, I'll move to Spain to marry a beautiful man
and live happily ever after, and the United States can suffer at the hands of the oppressors!
Okay, back from my tangent! Before we went to the DMV, we stopped for a bite at Flying Biscuit, and I felt as though the age difference only matters if I let it. It's actually extremely refreshing to spend time with someone younger, and I certainly don't have to act my age around him! It's kind of like an escape. I'm also learning a lot about video games and music; and I certainly don't think it's a waste of time because there is so much going on today that I can't keep track of that is really shaping our future. If I didn't have such experiences, I'd grow up to be an ignorant old geezer who can't work any new gadgets. That would be a nightmare! I must keep with the times!
After the DMV, we went to the FMLS office in Sandy Springs because I needed to activate a couple of lockboxes on my account that I bought from eBay. He's so laid back as young people are, that he was happy to accompany me. I thought we should do something fun after that, so we stopped in at the costume shop next to Gravity Fitness to get ideas for Halloween, which is in only one month. He's an extremely gifted artist, and he brought along a sketch of a woodland nymph he wanted to be. I've seen some of his work, and the sketch was very detailed, like his other drawings. We tried on several things, and we had a really fun time figuring out what we might dress up as. I don't always enjoy the whole Halloween production because, in the past, I've felt that the holiday overshadows my birthday, which is the day before. But this year, I'll go with the flow and embrace Halloween by having a masquerade birthday party, which Ernesto is going to plan, possibly with the help of Sparkles.
I guess that's what I'm doing with Nymph, just going with the flow. I don't know what to expect, and I'm not even sure what I want. I've been happily single for many months, but the passed couple of weeks have been fun, and I've enjoyed getting to know him. In the past, I've needed to be in control of every situation, so it's new and different to have a more passive attitude. It's nice! It's cool! It's also really wonderful to not be with someone who's trying to control me!! Wow! He doesn't mind what I do with my time, and he respects my privacy. This is still very early on, and expectations are low, so things may progress. I don't know. Regardless of what happens, I'm going to have fun exploring!
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