It's 2009, and I'm SOOOO living in the present right now. I knew the new year would be better than the last, but I totally didn't think things would improve as quickly as they have! I can barely keep up, actually!
A couple of weeks ago, I was planning on moving to a new, one-bedroom apartment in the same apartment complex I'd lived in for almost two years, the Aventine on Sidney Marcus in Buckhead. But at the very last minute, like on December 30th, my good friend Jeffrey invited me to move into his huge, beautiful townhouse off Buford Highway. It all happened within the blink of an eye: I got back my rent check from the Aventine for January, and moved into Jeffrey's. Business hasn't been great for anyone lately, and Jeffrey decided that renting out the guest bedroom would help him out.
So, for the first time in over two years, I walked into the liquor store at Ansley Mall. Nothing had changed, and all the vodkas were still in the same place. Before you freak out, I wasn't buying it for myself. In fact, I bought it and some pizza as incentives for my friends to help me move. I hate to move, and I couldn't do it alone. After I threw out half of my worldly belongings and gave the other half away to a young college student moving into the same complex, I moved into Sterling Oaks, a gated community just north of North Druid Hills. It's perfect. I'm so happy!
Pumba & Simba now have a new friend! His name is Max, and he's Jeffrey's dog. I don't know much about dogs, so I don't know what type of dog he is, but he's a tiny, fluffy lap-dog. He's very cute, and he doesn't know what cats are. The three of them are taking their time adjusting to each other, but no violence has broken out, and they pretty much just examine each other from afar. It's interesting to watch them as they try to figure things out. My kitties have already grown accustomed to their new home, and they seem to be quite happy. I was a little apprehensive at first, but things are turning out okay.
Aside from my new residence, other aspects of my life are improving as well. One of my best friends, Jay, left the gym, so we needed to fill in some hours. So, I picked up some extra hours despite my fear of working too much. It's an irrational fear, and I need the money! My new part-time gig with Will, the event-designer is good! It's flexible, and because it's mostly organizational work, I find it to be quite easy.
My two hot real estate leads cooled to warm, at best. But my investor-client purchased not one, but TWO properties this week. They were both cash deals, so we closed both very quickly. That commission comes in quite handy as I try to improve my financial status. Things have gotten to be pretty tough for people, and we really need to make money however we can (honestly, of course). A very close friend of mine just got the word that his position will be eliminated soon, so I just sent out an email to friends who might know of anyone looking for an accountant. I'm sure he won't be the only friend I know who is facing a lay-off.
So, for now, things are good in my life, however, I'll try to look out for my friends as best as I can. I've been listening to Oprah's radio channel 156 on XM a lot lately, and it's inspired me to "live my best life" by living a more spiritual life. And that includes taking care of myself and my family & friends. It's very AA; I highly recommend it to everyone.
Take care, and have a fabulous 2009!
Thursday, January 8, 2009
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
My Ethnicity versus My Hometown
Several nights ago, my friend, Julio & I were at Blake's. We were having a particularly good time considering the fact that it was a Monday night in December, and very few people were out. It was also fairly late when we got there, but the DJ started playing some older stuff after he played his requisite Rhianna, Britney, Madonna, etc. The crowd got really into it, and Julio, being the avid dancer he is, pulled me into the "dance area" of the bar. We danced to Donna Summer, Michael Jackson, and C+C Music Factory, among others.
Julio was being flirty, as usual, so we met some people we hadn't previously met. One was particularly interested in Julio, so Julio gave him his number. Afterwards, Julio moved onto the next guy, an older gentleman who happened to be a very good dancer. I say older, but he was probably my age. As they chatted over by the bar, I sat at one of the hightops next to the windows. Guy #1 came over to me and introduced himself to me. He wore a baseball cap and was probably in his mid-20s. Without a second to waste, he asked me, "Where are you from?"
"New York," I answered.
"Duh," he said.
"What?"
"Beyond that," he said.
"Are you asking me what my ethnicity is?" I asked.
"Ummm, yeah," he answered.
"Well, where I'm from and my ethnicity are two different things," I reasoned with him, who was visibly intoxicated. "My Mom is from El Salvador, and my Dad is American of Irish and Welsh descent."
I don't know why I chose a drunk, country boy in Atlanta to correct, but I guess I was a little frustrated with this simple, yet slightly offensive concept.
Almost every day, a person wants to ask me "What are you?" And, unfortunately, here in Georgia, fewer than most people know how to ask. I'm very used to the inquiry, which I get almost every single time I meet a new person, but after having lived in Atlanta for three years, I guess I want people to ask me with some discretion instead of blurting something out that says to me, "You are different, and we don't see folks like you around much."
I was born in Greenwich, Connecticut, where I went to high school, but I grew up in Port Chester, New York. After high school, I moved to Boston to go to college. I'm very proud of my ethnic heritage, and I've been to El Salvador and Ireland, both more than once. They're both beautiful countries, and I want to explore them further. However, I've never lived in any other country other than the United States. So, when a person asks me where I'm from, my first assumption is to answer the question with the proper answer. I don't see why I have to assume that the person asking is more interested in where my parents, grandparents, and ancestors are from.
I didn't get upset with drunkie at the bar, but I did correct a person for the first time, and I don't think I was wrong to. In Boston, where I lived for eleven years prior to my move to Atlanta, people were just as curious to know what my ethnicity is, but they asked with discretion. Here, people don't realize that when they ask one thing, and mean something else, they are pointing out the fact that I look different than they do, and that I'm the one who's different. It's crass and ignorant, but it isn't ill-intentioned. So, what am I to do?
I just want to put this out there so that people will think about this a little differently. The United States is made up of all different kinds of people, and we all need to exercise a little sensitivity when we want to ask about each other's differences. We should really stop thinking that there is more of one type of person than another, or that this demographic is smaller than that one. Let's embrace diversity! Let's instead complement each other on our exotic looks and forget about our parents. We're all individuals and we should be proud of heritage, but the here-and-now is what is most important, so let's assume we're all Americans, and let's talk about sex instead!
Julio was being flirty, as usual, so we met some people we hadn't previously met. One was particularly interested in Julio, so Julio gave him his number. Afterwards, Julio moved onto the next guy, an older gentleman who happened to be a very good dancer. I say older, but he was probably my age. As they chatted over by the bar, I sat at one of the hightops next to the windows. Guy #1 came over to me and introduced himself to me. He wore a baseball cap and was probably in his mid-20s. Without a second to waste, he asked me, "Where are you from?"
"New York," I answered.
"Duh," he said.
"What?"
"Beyond that," he said.
"Are you asking me what my ethnicity is?" I asked.
"Ummm, yeah," he answered.
"Well, where I'm from and my ethnicity are two different things," I reasoned with him, who was visibly intoxicated. "My Mom is from El Salvador, and my Dad is American of Irish and Welsh descent."
I don't know why I chose a drunk, country boy in Atlanta to correct, but I guess I was a little frustrated with this simple, yet slightly offensive concept.
Almost every day, a person wants to ask me "What are you?" And, unfortunately, here in Georgia, fewer than most people know how to ask. I'm very used to the inquiry, which I get almost every single time I meet a new person, but after having lived in Atlanta for three years, I guess I want people to ask me with some discretion instead of blurting something out that says to me, "You are different, and we don't see folks like you around much."
I was born in Greenwich, Connecticut, where I went to high school, but I grew up in Port Chester, New York. After high school, I moved to Boston to go to college. I'm very proud of my ethnic heritage, and I've been to El Salvador and Ireland, both more than once. They're both beautiful countries, and I want to explore them further. However, I've never lived in any other country other than the United States. So, when a person asks me where I'm from, my first assumption is to answer the question with the proper answer. I don't see why I have to assume that the person asking is more interested in where my parents, grandparents, and ancestors are from.
I didn't get upset with drunkie at the bar, but I did correct a person for the first time, and I don't think I was wrong to. In Boston, where I lived for eleven years prior to my move to Atlanta, people were just as curious to know what my ethnicity is, but they asked with discretion. Here, people don't realize that when they ask one thing, and mean something else, they are pointing out the fact that I look different than they do, and that I'm the one who's different. It's crass and ignorant, but it isn't ill-intentioned. So, what am I to do?
I just want to put this out there so that people will think about this a little differently. The United States is made up of all different kinds of people, and we all need to exercise a little sensitivity when we want to ask about each other's differences. We should really stop thinking that there is more of one type of person than another, or that this demographic is smaller than that one. Let's embrace diversity! Let's instead complement each other on our exotic looks and forget about our parents. We're all individuals and we should be proud of heritage, but the here-and-now is what is most important, so let's assume we're all Americans, and let's talk about sex instead!
Thursday, December 4, 2008
Two Years Without Alcohol . . .
. . . and I don't miss it at all!
Today is a truly awesome day. It feels like just another day, except people in all aspects of my life are congratulating me, mostly in person and via text messages. The Program Director of Purple Treatment called me a "Miracle" today. That blew me away! But I guess it is a miracle. I went from being completely dependent upon alcohol to check my email, go grocery shopping, to simply meet with another human being; to knowing and understanding the truth: that I don't need alcohol for anything. And that, in fact, I am a pretty cool guy who should be secure and confident. When I drank, I feared life. Without it, I relish life.
I woke up today with some negativity swirling around in my head. I realized it was my AA Birthday, and I knew I had to promptly get out of bed and seize the day to fully appreciate and celebrate the occasion. I also had a busy day scheduled. I devoted the morning to Mark's home search, so I got ready, ate breakfast at Waffle House, and waited for him to pick me up. We saw one listing Mark liked out of the several, but we had to be back around noon so that he could get to work on time.
I picked up my car at my mechanic's and drove home. I had been without my car for almost two weeks, and because of the cold weather and Atlanta's incompetent transit system, MARTA, I was ready to pull my newly grown long hair out. I was so happy to get my car back! It was like receiving a present for my birthday! I went home, and had a long lunch with Pumba & Simba. I had to be at the gym at 3, and because I forgot how quickly it is to get around with a car, I got there early, just in time to get a free manicure from Helmet's new Nail Technician, CJ. She's a very sweet woman who is an expert with nails, in fact, she finds it relaxing to do nails.
In recent months, I've become more carefree with my alcoholic status. So, my co-workers and many gym members were congratulating me. Meanwhile, friends & family in Chicago, Boston, San Diego, and Connecticut were texting me their well-wishes. My boss & best friend, Jay, bought me dinner tonight from one of my favorite restaurants in the ATL, Top Spice. Another best friend, Mo, suggested that we have a Chocolate Party to celebrate this weekend. What a cool idea!
I'm happy. I'm really happy. My life is really coming together nicely. I'm moving into my own apartment at the end of the month because my roommate's parents came to Atlanta from Houston to get him, and I'm finally making money! I started a second part-time job as the assistant to a very busy, large-scale event planner to supplement my income, and I love it! In fact, I've been so busy this week, that I haven't worked this much since I worked at Joe's on Juniper last Spring. Some days, I start with real estate at 9 a.m., and finish with the gym at 11 p.m., and I'm happy to be busy. If I have time on my hands to do nothing, negative thoughts permeate my brain, and things become unpleasant and uncomfortable. I also have control over my own schedule, which is a wonderful, yet dangerous thing. Discipline is more important than ever, if I am to continue to prosper.
I've learned so much in the passed two years, that it is just amazing. In fact, two years ago, I was still very much a kid, a young adult. In these two years, I've been tested, I've made mistakes, and I've learned. And no matter what, I didn't drink. :-)
Today is a truly awesome day. It feels like just another day, except people in all aspects of my life are congratulating me, mostly in person and via text messages. The Program Director of Purple Treatment called me a "Miracle" today. That blew me away! But I guess it is a miracle. I went from being completely dependent upon alcohol to check my email, go grocery shopping, to simply meet with another human being; to knowing and understanding the truth: that I don't need alcohol for anything. And that, in fact, I am a pretty cool guy who should be secure and confident. When I drank, I feared life. Without it, I relish life.
I woke up today with some negativity swirling around in my head. I realized it was my AA Birthday, and I knew I had to promptly get out of bed and seize the day to fully appreciate and celebrate the occasion. I also had a busy day scheduled. I devoted the morning to Mark's home search, so I got ready, ate breakfast at Waffle House, and waited for him to pick me up. We saw one listing Mark liked out of the several, but we had to be back around noon so that he could get to work on time.
I picked up my car at my mechanic's and drove home. I had been without my car for almost two weeks, and because of the cold weather and Atlanta's incompetent transit system, MARTA, I was ready to pull my newly grown long hair out. I was so happy to get my car back! It was like receiving a present for my birthday! I went home, and had a long lunch with Pumba & Simba. I had to be at the gym at 3, and because I forgot how quickly it is to get around with a car, I got there early, just in time to get a free manicure from Helmet's new Nail Technician, CJ. She's a very sweet woman who is an expert with nails, in fact, she finds it relaxing to do nails.
In recent months, I've become more carefree with my alcoholic status. So, my co-workers and many gym members were congratulating me. Meanwhile, friends & family in Chicago, Boston, San Diego, and Connecticut were texting me their well-wishes. My boss & best friend, Jay, bought me dinner tonight from one of my favorite restaurants in the ATL, Top Spice. Another best friend, Mo, suggested that we have a Chocolate Party to celebrate this weekend. What a cool idea!
I'm happy. I'm really happy. My life is really coming together nicely. I'm moving into my own apartment at the end of the month because my roommate's parents came to Atlanta from Houston to get him, and I'm finally making money! I started a second part-time job as the assistant to a very busy, large-scale event planner to supplement my income, and I love it! In fact, I've been so busy this week, that I haven't worked this much since I worked at Joe's on Juniper last Spring. Some days, I start with real estate at 9 a.m., and finish with the gym at 11 p.m., and I'm happy to be busy. If I have time on my hands to do nothing, negative thoughts permeate my brain, and things become unpleasant and uncomfortable. I also have control over my own schedule, which is a wonderful, yet dangerous thing. Discipline is more important than ever, if I am to continue to prosper.
I've learned so much in the passed two years, that it is just amazing. In fact, two years ago, I was still very much a kid, a young adult. In these two years, I've been tested, I've made mistakes, and I've learned. And no matter what, I didn't drink. :-)
Friday, November 28, 2008
What A Fabulous Thanksgiving!
It's very early in the morning, and I'm just reflecting on the Thanksgiving I had. I got home about an hour ago, but I'm gonna start at twenty-four hours ago.
Julio & I were out at Blake's last night, & we were pretty bored. We were at Jay's bar chatting with him, but the rest of the crowd weren't doing enough for us, so we decided to head to Heretic. I'd heard that the night before Thanksgiving was the club's busiest night of the year. And I traditionally go out the night before holidays because it's what the gay community has done for years in the Big Apple & Beantown. Julio was driving, & I was texting Jeremy. I had seen him the night before, & he mentioned that he was thinking Heretic, too.
We got to the club & ran into several guys from the gym, so we made our rounds & noticed that the club wasn't enforcing the dress code, which was a little disappointing. Normally on Wednesday nights, one must remove his shirt or be dressed in leather/fetishwear to get into the dance area. We were hanging out with Mark, Allen, Eddie, & Trey when Jeremy walked in. Julio & Trey had claimed to have never met my Ex, but when Jeremy joined us, they knew him. So, I was like, "How do you guys all know each other?" I had forgotten that Jeremy was a member of Gravity Fitness for a brief month before he joined a fitness activity that only included a "cowbell" for the low, low price of $80/mo. He never was the expert decision-maker; and he still follows fads. By the way, he's a great person.
We danced all night & worked up an appetite, so Julio & I went to Waffle House at 3 a.m., which we love to do because we're morning people. It was freezing inside, as usual, so I kept my coat on. As we decided on which type of grease we were in the mood for, we watched & listened to the boisterous table of drag queens who insisted upon entertaining the whole restaurant. They were funny, at first, but they were so over-the-top melodramatic & drunk that they quickly became annoying. A tension developed, & one of the servers started to become annoyed and said something to them. A drag queen called her a dyke, & the fun was over.
No less than seven cop cars showed up, & a cop ushered the drag queens out. We finished our food as I told Julio that after going through the fiasco of just one DUI in my life, I would never argue with a cop who could easily arrest me as the drag queens were doing. Julio dropped me off at home at 4:30 a.m., and I went to bed that Thanksgiving morning very thankful to be going to bed in my own bed with my kitties snuggled up with me.
--
I wanted to sleep in & catch up on my rest, so I didn't get out of bed until well into the afternoon, and I didn't even feel bad about it! I made some coffee, heated up some leftovers, & fed Pumba & Simba tuna fish especially for Thanksgiving Day. Since it was late in the day, I had already received a bunch of well-wishing texts, which is a new Thanksgiving phenomenon. So, I plugged my cell phone into my laptop & responded. I also sent out a mass text to those I hadn't yet heard from. As I drank coffee & waited for all the messages to be sent, I spoke to my parents & Seamus in New York. It was so good to hear from them! I decided that I must go home for Christmas.
Since it was a holiday that I was not spending with my family, I wanted to spend time with others in recovery. I called Rand, & he was kind enough to offer to pick me up for the 8 p.m. Rooms to Grow meeting at the Galano Club. I've been without personal transportation since Monday when my car broke down. It needs a new starter which I think I'll be able to get tomorrow. Rand was Discussion Leader at the meeting, & because it was Thanksgiving, he appropriately chose Gratitude as the topic. Everyone shared wonderful things they were grateful for, & I pondered my own sobriety & the friends & family I'm grateful for. Next week, God-willing, I'll be picking up a chip for living without alcohol for two years. It's a really wonderful thing.
After the meeting, Brian, Rand, & I decided to see the movie, Milk, which was an amazing & important movie all gay people should see. It follows the historic political career of Harvey Milk in San Francisco in the '70s. Wow! What an inspiring story! The three of us went to Blake's after, and I told people that the movie has inspired me to run for office, specifically, mayor of Atlanta! My first night of campaigning went quite well. The several people I asked to vote for me said they absolutely will, so I'm off to a good start!
Tomorrow's gonna be a busy one, so I'm off to bed. What a fabulous Thanksgiving!
Julio & I were out at Blake's last night, & we were pretty bored. We were at Jay's bar chatting with him, but the rest of the crowd weren't doing enough for us, so we decided to head to Heretic. I'd heard that the night before Thanksgiving was the club's busiest night of the year. And I traditionally go out the night before holidays because it's what the gay community has done for years in the Big Apple & Beantown. Julio was driving, & I was texting Jeremy. I had seen him the night before, & he mentioned that he was thinking Heretic, too.
We got to the club & ran into several guys from the gym, so we made our rounds & noticed that the club wasn't enforcing the dress code, which was a little disappointing. Normally on Wednesday nights, one must remove his shirt or be dressed in leather/fetishwear to get into the dance area. We were hanging out with Mark, Allen, Eddie, & Trey when Jeremy walked in. Julio & Trey had claimed to have never met my Ex, but when Jeremy joined us, they knew him. So, I was like, "How do you guys all know each other?" I had forgotten that Jeremy was a member of Gravity Fitness for a brief month before he joined a fitness activity that only included a "cowbell" for the low, low price of $80/mo. He never was the expert decision-maker; and he still follows fads. By the way, he's a great person.
We danced all night & worked up an appetite, so Julio & I went to Waffle House at 3 a.m., which we love to do because we're morning people. It was freezing inside, as usual, so I kept my coat on. As we decided on which type of grease we were in the mood for, we watched & listened to the boisterous table of drag queens who insisted upon entertaining the whole restaurant. They were funny, at first, but they were so over-the-top melodramatic & drunk that they quickly became annoying. A tension developed, & one of the servers started to become annoyed and said something to them. A drag queen called her a dyke, & the fun was over.
No less than seven cop cars showed up, & a cop ushered the drag queens out. We finished our food as I told Julio that after going through the fiasco of just one DUI in my life, I would never argue with a cop who could easily arrest me as the drag queens were doing. Julio dropped me off at home at 4:30 a.m., and I went to bed that Thanksgiving morning very thankful to be going to bed in my own bed with my kitties snuggled up with me.
--
I wanted to sleep in & catch up on my rest, so I didn't get out of bed until well into the afternoon, and I didn't even feel bad about it! I made some coffee, heated up some leftovers, & fed Pumba & Simba tuna fish especially for Thanksgiving Day. Since it was late in the day, I had already received a bunch of well-wishing texts, which is a new Thanksgiving phenomenon. So, I plugged my cell phone into my laptop & responded. I also sent out a mass text to those I hadn't yet heard from. As I drank coffee & waited for all the messages to be sent, I spoke to my parents & Seamus in New York. It was so good to hear from them! I decided that I must go home for Christmas.
Since it was a holiday that I was not spending with my family, I wanted to spend time with others in recovery. I called Rand, & he was kind enough to offer to pick me up for the 8 p.m. Rooms to Grow meeting at the Galano Club. I've been without personal transportation since Monday when my car broke down. It needs a new starter which I think I'll be able to get tomorrow. Rand was Discussion Leader at the meeting, & because it was Thanksgiving, he appropriately chose Gratitude as the topic. Everyone shared wonderful things they were grateful for, & I pondered my own sobriety & the friends & family I'm grateful for. Next week, God-willing, I'll be picking up a chip for living without alcohol for two years. It's a really wonderful thing.
After the meeting, Brian, Rand, & I decided to see the movie, Milk, which was an amazing & important movie all gay people should see. It follows the historic political career of Harvey Milk in San Francisco in the '70s. Wow! What an inspiring story! The three of us went to Blake's after, and I told people that the movie has inspired me to run for office, specifically, mayor of Atlanta! My first night of campaigning went quite well. The several people I asked to vote for me said they absolutely will, so I'm off to a good start!
Tomorrow's gonna be a busy one, so I'm off to bed. What a fabulous Thanksgiving!
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
An Exploratory Phase
I met someone recently. I'm not going to divulge much, mainly to protect his privacy; but I do wish I could write everything down! I also must be very sensitive about which details I mention because others don't quite see him the way I do. I'm not the type to listen to others much for relationship advice, however, I did ask for opinions, and I got opinions I didn't quite want to hear. Anyway, I appreciate the fact that my friends think highly of me, and I understand that they are hoping I'll wait for someone perfect to come along; but I see a lot of goodness in this person, and I want to explore a bit further.
I felt a little insecure at first because of our substantial age difference. That went away today. I offered to take him to the DMV this morning so that he turn in his Florida license, get a Georgia one, and register to vote all at once. I had some things I had to do today, but I got up really early (very unlike me), and I wanted to spend time with him. Not to mention, this upcoming election is extremely important, because of how it relates to me, of course. If the republicans happen to win again, I'm moving to a resort town in Mexico, probably Puerto Vallarta, because of how gay it is. Once I'm confident about my Spanish, I'll move to Spain to marry a beautiful man
and live happily ever after, and the United States can suffer at the hands of the oppressors!
Okay, back from my tangent! Before we went to the DMV, we stopped for a bite at Flying Biscuit, and I felt as though the age difference only matters if I let it. It's actually extremely refreshing to spend time with someone younger, and I certainly don't have to act my age around him! It's kind of like an escape. I'm also learning a lot about video games and music; and I certainly don't think it's a waste of time because there is so much going on today that I can't keep track of that is really shaping our future. If I didn't have such experiences, I'd grow up to be an ignorant old geezer who can't work any new gadgets. That would be a nightmare! I must keep with the times!
After the DMV, we went to the FMLS office in Sandy Springs because I needed to activate a couple of lockboxes on my account that I bought from eBay. He's so laid back as young people are, that he was happy to accompany me. I thought we should do something fun after that, so we stopped in at the costume shop next to Gravity Fitness to get ideas for Halloween, which is in only one month. He's an extremely gifted artist, and he brought along a sketch of a woodland nymph he wanted to be. I've seen some of his work, and the sketch was very detailed, like his other drawings. We tried on several things, and we had a really fun time figuring out what we might dress up as. I don't always enjoy the whole Halloween production because, in the past, I've felt that the holiday overshadows my birthday, which is the day before. But this year, I'll go with the flow and embrace Halloween by having a masquerade birthday party, which Ernesto is going to plan, possibly with the help of Sparkles.
I guess that's what I'm doing with Nymph, just going with the flow. I don't know what to expect, and I'm not even sure what I want. I've been happily single for many months, but the passed couple of weeks have been fun, and I've enjoyed getting to know him. In the past, I've needed to be in control of every situation, so it's new and different to have a more passive attitude. It's nice! It's cool! It's also really wonderful to not be with someone who's trying to control me!! Wow! He doesn't mind what I do with my time, and he respects my privacy. This is still very early on, and expectations are low, so things may progress. I don't know. Regardless of what happens, I'm going to have fun exploring!
I felt a little insecure at first because of our substantial age difference. That went away today. I offered to take him to the DMV this morning so that he turn in his Florida license, get a Georgia one, and register to vote all at once. I had some things I had to do today, but I got up really early (very unlike me), and I wanted to spend time with him. Not to mention, this upcoming election is extremely important, because of how it relates to me, of course. If the republicans happen to win again, I'm moving to a resort town in Mexico, probably Puerto Vallarta, because of how gay it is. Once I'm confident about my Spanish, I'll move to Spain to marry a beautiful man
and live happily ever after, and the United States can suffer at the hands of the oppressors!
Okay, back from my tangent! Before we went to the DMV, we stopped for a bite at Flying Biscuit, and I felt as though the age difference only matters if I let it. It's actually extremely refreshing to spend time with someone younger, and I certainly don't have to act my age around him! It's kind of like an escape. I'm also learning a lot about video games and music; and I certainly don't think it's a waste of time because there is so much going on today that I can't keep track of that is really shaping our future. If I didn't have such experiences, I'd grow up to be an ignorant old geezer who can't work any new gadgets. That would be a nightmare! I must keep with the times!
After the DMV, we went to the FMLS office in Sandy Springs because I needed to activate a couple of lockboxes on my account that I bought from eBay. He's so laid back as young people are, that he was happy to accompany me. I thought we should do something fun after that, so we stopped in at the costume shop next to Gravity Fitness to get ideas for Halloween, which is in only one month. He's an extremely gifted artist, and he brought along a sketch of a woodland nymph he wanted to be. I've seen some of his work, and the sketch was very detailed, like his other drawings. We tried on several things, and we had a really fun time figuring out what we might dress up as. I don't always enjoy the whole Halloween production because, in the past, I've felt that the holiday overshadows my birthday, which is the day before. But this year, I'll go with the flow and embrace Halloween by having a masquerade birthday party, which Ernesto is going to plan, possibly with the help of Sparkles.
I guess that's what I'm doing with Nymph, just going with the flow. I don't know what to expect, and I'm not even sure what I want. I've been happily single for many months, but the passed couple of weeks have been fun, and I've enjoyed getting to know him. In the past, I've needed to be in control of every situation, so it's new and different to have a more passive attitude. It's nice! It's cool! It's also really wonderful to not be with someone who's trying to control me!! Wow! He doesn't mind what I do with my time, and he respects my privacy. This is still very early on, and expectations are low, so things may progress. I don't know. Regardless of what happens, I'm going to have fun exploring!
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
A Very Worthy Cause
Labor Day Weekend is over, and I'm about to head back to Atlanta. I spent the weekend with my family in New York, and the highlight was meeting and spending time with my new niece, Nicole Sofie Malin. She was born on July 15th to my brother, Bill, and his wife, Margot. Nicole is really beautiful; she has naturally tanned skin thanks to her Latin influences from both parents, dark brown hair and eyes, chubby cheeks from her Mom, and a prominent forehead from her Dad. I held her and fed her several times over the weekend, and it seemed to me that maybe taking care of a baby would be pretty simple. But before I start making assumptions and plans to adopt a small bundle of my own, I remember that I'm not home with her at night, and that my life allows me the freedom to spontaneously hang out with friends when I want or take a weekend trip somewhere. The thought reminds me to be grateful for my self-cleaning kitties at home who require no special attention, but who provide me with plenty of unconditional love, nonetheless.
The other reason for my visit was to attend the wedding of a childhood friend and neighbor. I grew up in Port Chester, New York, next door to a Filipino family. The two kids, Geralynn and Joe were very close to the ages of my brothers and me, so the five of us would play together and grow up alongside each other. While I lived in Boston during and after college, Geralynn and Joe also lived there, and I'd randomly run into one of them out at a club occassionally. Geralynn returned to Port Chester a couple of years ago to save money and figure out where in the US she wants to live next. She's a successful pharmacist, and can move anywhere she wants after her parents retire in Las Vegas next year. On my last day in New York, she and I had lunch together, and I asked her to take a weekend trip to Atlanta so that I can show her around for her consideration. It would be nice to have another Northern friend close-by.
Joe also left Boston and moved to Norwalk, Connecticut, with his then-fiance. So, this passed weekend, the two tied the knot at a Catholic Church (shudder) in Norwalk, and then had their reception at the famous Surf Club in New Rochelle, New York. It was an awesome wedding! The food was fabulous, and the guests were a wonderful mix of Filipino, American, and Latino (the bride is from Central or South America; I can't remember which country). But the best part of the reception was Venetian Hour, which was an extravagant montage of desserts, including everything from apple streudle to chocolate fountains to chocolate chip cookies to cigars! And what party would not be complete without some good old-fashioned, Malin-family drama! My little brother, Jim, brought his ex-girlfriend, Paula, who the rest of the family doesn't think much of. So, at my table was Bill and Margot to my left, and my Dad, Jim, and Paula to my right. Billy and Paula are both seasoned drinkers, and they commenced their talent immediately. Occassionally, Paula would return to the table with no less than two drinks at a time! And every time Margot and I would wonder where Billy was, we would turn to one of the bars and spot him. It was so funny! And we thought it was only a matter of time before Billy and Paula got into a fight. Much to our dismay, there was no confrontation, however, both of them left the reception quite intoxicated.
Instead of returning to Atlanta on Monday, I stayed a few extra days to spend time with my parents and brothers, and to hang out in Manhattan. I visited a couple of friends in the city, but I didn't go out to any gay nightlife venues on this trip. I was fine with that, and I had a great time just kind of relaxing.
--
I returned to Atlanta on Wednesday night thinking about the up-coming weekend. Saturday night would be the famed Atlanta Cotillion, which is an annual fund-raiser for AIDAtlanta, a non-profit organization who helps people with HIV and AIDS. While I was in New York, my friend, Jeffrey, called me asking me to help with the event. I had already wanted to go, but I didn't think I could afford the $150 ticket, so this opportunity to volunteer could not have happened to a more willing person.
The Cotillion has been going on for years, and last year, my former husband, Jeremy, was a debutante. The "debs" raise money for four months prior to the event, and the drag queen who raises the most wins, and is crowned queen of the Cotillion. The debs have pool parties and other fun fund-raising events throughout the summer leading up to the Cotillion. I've known several passed-debutantes, even a few winners, but I've never had the chance to go until this year.
I decided that although I'd be "working" at the event, I still wanted to look appropriate for the black-tie event. However, I was asked to help at the last minute, and when I went to rent a tux, it was too late. I went to Men's Wearhouse to check out their tuxedos for purchase, and I ended up getting a great deal on one. So, I blow-dried my hair (which I'm currently growing out), got all decked-out, and headed to the function.
Those with decision-making power decided that this year's event would be a masquerade. So, during a break from my shift at the gym, I walked into the costume shop next to Gravity Fitness on Faulkner Road and purchased a mask for myself with a flaming look to it, and one on a stick for my friend, Chris, who was going in drag. Chris is a very tall man, so when he does drag, he's quite an immense woman. My new friend, Julio, who works at Helmet (inside Gravity Fitness) was also asked to serve a purpose for the event. My friend, Jeffrey (famous for the character, Jeffrey Blooms on tv's Who's Wedding Is It? created a Marie Antoinette look for Julio. But Jeffrey took the costume a bit further with his creativity by hollowing out a round table for Julio to be in the middle of. The costume went over both of them, and that allowed the table to serve as a dress that served drinks. Julio was a "living table." Very cool!
My friend, Patrick and I were asked to help out by wearing head-set microphones so that we could be the communication between back-stage and the sound area out among the dinner tables. It was all very interesting and fun; in fact, it didn't feel like work at all! The show itself consisted of my friend, Jeffrey as Mistress of Ceremonies (in a gorgeous, silver-screen ball gown), and debutantes and queens of passed years. The importance of AIDAtlanta's mission was a theme throughout the night, and I became slightly emotional as they spoke of how much good the Cotillion does for people living with HIV. Because of AIDAtlanta, people who would otherwise be inelligible for medical care get the help they need to continue their lives as normal human beings. People are treated with respect and dignity at AIDAtlanta, and living with HIV no longer has to be a nightmare. So, when they announced that this year's debutantes raised over $104,000, tears formed in my eyes, and I felt as though I was a part of something so much bigger than me, and it was something very, very good.
The winning debutante raised by herself over $27,000, so they passed her the crown, and she did her little runway walk. The whole show seemed to move along very quickly, and before I knew it, it was after eleven, and people were waiting to get their cars from valet. A gentleman teetering next to me told the valet that he was too drunk to drive, and that he just needed his keys. I thanked God that moment that I was sober, and that my night was just beginning! The after-party was taking place at WETbar, of course, so Chris, Julio, & I piled into the Rodeo, and headed off.
The Cotillion people were the night's VIPs at the club, so we walked in ahead of a line of people waiting outside and all the way around the corner. I caught a glimpse of Seth & Nathan, along with their own coterie, waiting in the long line. We walked into a club full of drag queens, handsome tuxedo-ed men, and club kids, all mixing and conversing as though it were any other night at the world-famous WET. I tried to greet as many people as I could, and then I hung out with Seth & Nathan for a bit to catch up. They recently got married in Piedmont Park at a wedding ceremony that was one of the most beautiful I've been to.
At around a quarter to two, we decided to take our mobile party to Blake's. Chris, Julio, and I were the only Cotillion people there, so the drunks at Blake's were quite taken by our lavish outfits. We did a "fruit loop" and then had our pictures taken by the photographers who frequent the bar. Unfortunately, Julio had to call it a night because of work the following morning, so we said "Goodbye" to him. But Chris and I were far from done. We're both alcoholics in recovery, so we can go all night, if need be! Jeffrey told us of a hot-tub party that was going on off Cheshire Bridge Road, so we headed in that direction. As we arrived, we noticed that nothing naughty was going on in the hot tub, so we quickly left. Just kidding!! The guys lent us a couple of swimsuits (mine was a little, skimpy number), and we joined them in the hot tub for some innocent chat. After a bit, we decided we were hungry, so Chris and I ended our night at, where else?? Waffle House. Nothing's better at six in the morning. What a wonderful night!
I awoke the next afternoon, not hung-over, but refreshed and so very happy that I was a very tiny part of a really huge, and wonderful thing. And all the attention I got in my new tux wasn't so bad either. :D
The other reason for my visit was to attend the wedding of a childhood friend and neighbor. I grew up in Port Chester, New York, next door to a Filipino family. The two kids, Geralynn and Joe were very close to the ages of my brothers and me, so the five of us would play together and grow up alongside each other. While I lived in Boston during and after college, Geralynn and Joe also lived there, and I'd randomly run into one of them out at a club occassionally. Geralynn returned to Port Chester a couple of years ago to save money and figure out where in the US she wants to live next. She's a successful pharmacist, and can move anywhere she wants after her parents retire in Las Vegas next year. On my last day in New York, she and I had lunch together, and I asked her to take a weekend trip to Atlanta so that I can show her around for her consideration. It would be nice to have another Northern friend close-by.
Joe also left Boston and moved to Norwalk, Connecticut, with his then-fiance. So, this passed weekend, the two tied the knot at a Catholic Church (shudder) in Norwalk, and then had their reception at the famous Surf Club in New Rochelle, New York. It was an awesome wedding! The food was fabulous, and the guests were a wonderful mix of Filipino, American, and Latino (the bride is from Central or South America; I can't remember which country). But the best part of the reception was Venetian Hour, which was an extravagant montage of desserts, including everything from apple streudle to chocolate fountains to chocolate chip cookies to cigars! And what party would not be complete without some good old-fashioned, Malin-family drama! My little brother, Jim, brought his ex-girlfriend, Paula, who the rest of the family doesn't think much of. So, at my table was Bill and Margot to my left, and my Dad, Jim, and Paula to my right. Billy and Paula are both seasoned drinkers, and they commenced their talent immediately. Occassionally, Paula would return to the table with no less than two drinks at a time! And every time Margot and I would wonder where Billy was, we would turn to one of the bars and spot him. It was so funny! And we thought it was only a matter of time before Billy and Paula got into a fight. Much to our dismay, there was no confrontation, however, both of them left the reception quite intoxicated.
Instead of returning to Atlanta on Monday, I stayed a few extra days to spend time with my parents and brothers, and to hang out in Manhattan. I visited a couple of friends in the city, but I didn't go out to any gay nightlife venues on this trip. I was fine with that, and I had a great time just kind of relaxing.
--
I returned to Atlanta on Wednesday night thinking about the up-coming weekend. Saturday night would be the famed Atlanta Cotillion, which is an annual fund-raiser for AIDAtlanta, a non-profit organization who helps people with HIV and AIDS. While I was in New York, my friend, Jeffrey, called me asking me to help with the event. I had already wanted to go, but I didn't think I could afford the $150 ticket, so this opportunity to volunteer could not have happened to a more willing person.
The Cotillion has been going on for years, and last year, my former husband, Jeremy, was a debutante. The "debs" raise money for four months prior to the event, and the drag queen who raises the most wins, and is crowned queen of the Cotillion. The debs have pool parties and other fun fund-raising events throughout the summer leading up to the Cotillion. I've known several passed-debutantes, even a few winners, but I've never had the chance to go until this year.
I decided that although I'd be "working" at the event, I still wanted to look appropriate for the black-tie event. However, I was asked to help at the last minute, and when I went to rent a tux, it was too late. I went to Men's Wearhouse to check out their tuxedos for purchase, and I ended up getting a great deal on one. So, I blow-dried my hair (which I'm currently growing out), got all decked-out, and headed to the function.
Those with decision-making power decided that this year's event would be a masquerade. So, during a break from my shift at the gym, I walked into the costume shop next to Gravity Fitness on Faulkner Road and purchased a mask for myself with a flaming look to it, and one on a stick for my friend, Chris, who was going in drag. Chris is a very tall man, so when he does drag, he's quite an immense woman. My new friend, Julio, who works at Helmet (inside Gravity Fitness) was also asked to serve a purpose for the event. My friend, Jeffrey (famous for the character, Jeffrey Blooms on tv's Who's Wedding Is It? created a Marie Antoinette look for Julio. But Jeffrey took the costume a bit further with his creativity by hollowing out a round table for Julio to be in the middle of. The costume went over both of them, and that allowed the table to serve as a dress that served drinks. Julio was a "living table." Very cool!
My friend, Patrick and I were asked to help out by wearing head-set microphones so that we could be the communication between back-stage and the sound area out among the dinner tables. It was all very interesting and fun; in fact, it didn't feel like work at all! The show itself consisted of my friend, Jeffrey as Mistress of Ceremonies (in a gorgeous, silver-screen ball gown), and debutantes and queens of passed years. The importance of AIDAtlanta's mission was a theme throughout the night, and I became slightly emotional as they spoke of how much good the Cotillion does for people living with HIV. Because of AIDAtlanta, people who would otherwise be inelligible for medical care get the help they need to continue their lives as normal human beings. People are treated with respect and dignity at AIDAtlanta, and living with HIV no longer has to be a nightmare. So, when they announced that this year's debutantes raised over $104,000, tears formed in my eyes, and I felt as though I was a part of something so much bigger than me, and it was something very, very good.
The winning debutante raised by herself over $27,000, so they passed her the crown, and she did her little runway walk. The whole show seemed to move along very quickly, and before I knew it, it was after eleven, and people were waiting to get their cars from valet. A gentleman teetering next to me told the valet that he was too drunk to drive, and that he just needed his keys. I thanked God that moment that I was sober, and that my night was just beginning! The after-party was taking place at WETbar, of course, so Chris, Julio, & I piled into the Rodeo, and headed off.
The Cotillion people were the night's VIPs at the club, so we walked in ahead of a line of people waiting outside and all the way around the corner. I caught a glimpse of Seth & Nathan, along with their own coterie, waiting in the long line. We walked into a club full of drag queens, handsome tuxedo-ed men, and club kids, all mixing and conversing as though it were any other night at the world-famous WET. I tried to greet as many people as I could, and then I hung out with Seth & Nathan for a bit to catch up. They recently got married in Piedmont Park at a wedding ceremony that was one of the most beautiful I've been to.
At around a quarter to two, we decided to take our mobile party to Blake's. Chris, Julio, and I were the only Cotillion people there, so the drunks at Blake's were quite taken by our lavish outfits. We did a "fruit loop" and then had our pictures taken by the photographers who frequent the bar. Unfortunately, Julio had to call it a night because of work the following morning, so we said "Goodbye" to him. But Chris and I were far from done. We're both alcoholics in recovery, so we can go all night, if need be! Jeffrey told us of a hot-tub party that was going on off Cheshire Bridge Road, so we headed in that direction. As we arrived, we noticed that nothing naughty was going on in the hot tub, so we quickly left. Just kidding!! The guys lent us a couple of swimsuits (mine was a little, skimpy number), and we joined them in the hot tub for some innocent chat. After a bit, we decided we were hungry, so Chris and I ended our night at, where else?? Waffle House. Nothing's better at six in the morning. What a wonderful night!
I awoke the next afternoon, not hung-over, but refreshed and so very happy that I was a very tiny part of a really huge, and wonderful thing. And all the attention I got in my new tux wasn't so bad either. :D
Thursday, July 31, 2008
Small Gay World
It's the last day of July, and as I get ready to close the gym tonight, I think about how this month has been a little bazaar. It's really been a month of ups & downs; I've had some setbacks, but I've also had some interesting learning experiences. As you may have read in my last post, depression had become a concern, but I can say with a fair level of confidence, that it is manageable now, and I look to the future with much optimism. My work as a REALTOR (r) has increased to the point that I'm excited to be an agent, to be showing homes, and to be approaching a closing. I'm also scheduled to be flying to New York for Labor Day Weekend to see my family, including the newest member, my niece, Nicole; and to attend the wedding of a childhood friend. Having a trip to look forward to is just one more good reason to get up in the morning each day and to get motivated to do something productive! My part-time job at the gym keeps me sane, and on some type of a regular schedule. It's also a lot of fun to work with my friend, Jay, and to chat with the gay gym-rats who come here.
July has been a challenging month for my confidence. I've made many big decisions in recovery, but in this passed month, I've come to question how well I've thought about things before making my decisions. I think I've actually come to regret the decision to live with my roommate, Adam, who now claims to have a pretty intense problem living with me. I knew after I returned to the real world in April of 2007 that living with Adam would be a challenge, and the people who I owe my sobriety to told me not to live with him. Anyway, we haven't wanted to live with each other for a while, but we're in a lease, and my plan to live with my friend, Chris, wouldn't happen until December. So, in my mind, nothing was going to change until then. But a week ago, Adam emailed me saying my behavior was a threat to his sobriety, and that he would have to move out by the end of the month, leaving me with a place to pay for and no roommate. To be mild, I was livid. I was so insulted, hurt, and baffled, especially since, he had no home when he was asked to leave rehab, except to live with me. I returned his email with one of a scathing nature that described my frustrations with living with him. My friend & sponsor, and possibly future-roommate, Chris, made me a "roommate-needed" flyer of an extremely professional design, and we put them up at the Galano Club (Gay Alcoholics Anonymous), so that I can find a sober roommate. Oh, and I told Adam he wasn't going anywhere until September.
I was really pissed off, needless to say, but I noticed how I was asking for help, and that the people who care about me, helped. They helped me see that this wasn't as bad as my alcoholic mind was making it out to be. Unfortunately, I isolated a bit, which is not healthy for an alcoholic in recovery, but I also went to meetings, and I went out with my Earth friends, Mo and Sparkles. They're always a hoot, and I like to go out. They're actually pictured in my default MySpace photo right now in case you think you know them. Between Trivia at Joe's on Juniper and Blake's, they know everyone! So, it wasn't the end of the world, and how could I stay upset when Joining Hearts 21 was in just a couple of days!
Every year, for the past twenty years, gay Atlanta gets together to party and raise money for two charity organizations, AID Atlanta and Jerusalem House, and 100% of the cover, tips, everything, goes to the charities. And the party is called Joining Hearts. I went two years ago in the good old days of drinking when they held it at the Piedmont Park pool, and I thought it was the greatest party I had been to in Atlanta. Well..........this year was off the chain! I had heard from a boy who comes to the gym and is also involved with the organization of the party that this was going to be a huge party, and that it was going to be held at the Civic Center, which was where a not-so-exciting Gay Pride Festival was held only a few weeks ago. (Remember?) Well, despite the failure of the Pride Committee, Joining Hearts 21 was a huge success! My expectations were low, so when I arrived to see a "circuit-esque" set-up, complete with a canopy-dance area, a full-on light show, and DJ Roland Belmares at the turn-tables.
Earlier in the week, I was out at the Heretic for the mid-week shirtless party they have on Wednesday nights. I was having a bad week with things that were going on, and I needed to go out and dance. and I met this older guy who kept telling me I was gorgeous. He wanted to buy me drinks, so I let him buy me a Red Bull, and later a diet Coke (which I drink way too much of, since I don't drink alcohol anymore). He was fifty-two, but he looked forty, and he was interesting, so when he asked me out to dinner, I accepted. Later that night, I was with a few friends who wanted to stop by the apartment of someone I didn't know. When we arrived, I met a very attractive thirty-four year-old, somewhat femme hottie! He asked me out on a date, and I was very interested, so I said, "Definitely!" But let me just clarify: I never get asked out twice in the same night.
During this same week, a friend I met when I first moved to Atlanta two & a half years ago, Shawn, called me to buy a home in Kennesaw. I was excited to go house-hunting with him the Saturday of Joining Hearts. He decided on one, and instructed me to write up an offer. I was ecstatic with his decision, and when we were done, I went home to change for the party & to celebrate my up-coming closing! As I drove back from Kennesaw, I spoke to Mike (the femme hottie) on the phone. He said his EX was with him, and that he knew me, too. He had met me at the Heretic on Wednesday night! So, once the two of them (who had dated for almost ten years!) got over the fact that they asked out the same boy on the same night, the three of us decided to go to Joining Hearts together! How crazy! My friend, Seth, who I've known for a decade since we met in Boston, was supposed to accompany me to the party, but then had to go to a birthday party instead.
I noticed earlier in the week that Mike drank a fair amount of alcohol, but I didn't think much of it. I just assume that everyone other than myself (aside from the other alcoholics I know) is a normal drinker. But then the three of us got to Joining Hearts, and Mike disappeared after only a few minutes. Joe (the other EX) & I danced almost the whole night, and had a great time; but Mike never returned. Before he disappeared, he asked a bartender to fill up his large plastic cup with a little ice & vodka, only. I thought to myself, "Wow! That's totally something I've done!" Joe & I talked about it for a bit, and I disclosed some of my story to him, and he said that he wanted Mike to go to rehab. Unfortunately, he is not ready yet, and if he's not ready, no one else can really help get him there. An alcoholic must live in pain & suffering until he/she reaches rock-bottom. Once he asks for help, there is so much that can be done, but not until then.
As Joe & I danced, I felt as though I were at the WinterParty in South Beach, or on an Atlantis vacation. The only reminder that I was in Atlanta was a familiar face here and there, and the illuminated skyline as the sun set into beautiful pinks & purples. I knew I wasn't going to be interested in dating Joe, but I thought we would make fabulous friends. He knew more of the older crowd at the party, and I got to meet some distinguished people.
At about ten pm, a singer came out on stage with three drag queens who had been dancing with the crowd. One of the drag queens was my ex-husband, Jeremy. He and the other two girls were in matching outfits with these arrangements on their heads. I waved to Jeremy from the dance floor; he looked like he was having a great time. Abigail, the young singer of maybe twenty-five, was very attractive, with long straight, brown hair, and a very fit body. She started her performance with one of my all-time favorite songs, and the theme song to my Senior Prom, back in Greenwich, Connecticut: Forever Young, by Alphaville. Abigail's rendition was a dance/club version, that really got the crowd going. She followed it with a couple of circuit anthems, and then was finished. As Jeremy walked off the stage following his back-up performance, I said , "Hello," and I told him he did a great job. He said he was having a great time. The party thinned-out, but Joe wanted to stay until the very end because he was anticipating some fireworks, which they customarily have. We waited, but there were no fireworks. We finished up the night at Joe's Versace-like mansion in Buckhead with some friends, where I also got to meet a TV celebrity whose studio happens to be adjacent to my gym. Small gay world.
I love parties, I love to dance, and I love to hang out and socialize. And I think I always will. If I can keep doing those things, I don't need alcohol. People ask me how I do it, but I now know that I never needed to drink; once I learned some humility and became comfortable in my own skin, I became outgoing, I became flirty, I was funny. I never needed it, and I never had a craving at Joining Hearts or at the second party at Opera on Sunday night, which Joe & I went to as well. That party was a toned-down version of Joining Hearts with the proceeds going to the same charities. I got to meet DJ David Knapp, and he made it a point to remember my name! Very sweet guy. He asked if Joe & I were a couple, and I practically yelled, "No, David, I'm single!"
July has been a challenging month for my confidence. I've made many big decisions in recovery, but in this passed month, I've come to question how well I've thought about things before making my decisions. I think I've actually come to regret the decision to live with my roommate, Adam, who now claims to have a pretty intense problem living with me. I knew after I returned to the real world in April of 2007 that living with Adam would be a challenge, and the people who I owe my sobriety to told me not to live with him. Anyway, we haven't wanted to live with each other for a while, but we're in a lease, and my plan to live with my friend, Chris, wouldn't happen until December. So, in my mind, nothing was going to change until then. But a week ago, Adam emailed me saying my behavior was a threat to his sobriety, and that he would have to move out by the end of the month, leaving me with a place to pay for and no roommate. To be mild, I was livid. I was so insulted, hurt, and baffled, especially since, he had no home when he was asked to leave rehab, except to live with me. I returned his email with one of a scathing nature that described my frustrations with living with him. My friend & sponsor, and possibly future-roommate, Chris, made me a "roommate-needed" flyer of an extremely professional design, and we put them up at the Galano Club (Gay Alcoholics Anonymous), so that I can find a sober roommate. Oh, and I told Adam he wasn't going anywhere until September.
I was really pissed off, needless to say, but I noticed how I was asking for help, and that the people who care about me, helped. They helped me see that this wasn't as bad as my alcoholic mind was making it out to be. Unfortunately, I isolated a bit, which is not healthy for an alcoholic in recovery, but I also went to meetings, and I went out with my Earth friends, Mo and Sparkles. They're always a hoot, and I like to go out. They're actually pictured in my default MySpace photo right now in case you think you know them. Between Trivia at Joe's on Juniper and Blake's, they know everyone! So, it wasn't the end of the world, and how could I stay upset when Joining Hearts 21 was in just a couple of days!
Every year, for the past twenty years, gay Atlanta gets together to party and raise money for two charity organizations, AID Atlanta and Jerusalem House, and 100% of the cover, tips, everything, goes to the charities. And the party is called Joining Hearts. I went two years ago in the good old days of drinking when they held it at the Piedmont Park pool, and I thought it was the greatest party I had been to in Atlanta. Well..........this year was off the chain! I had heard from a boy who comes to the gym and is also involved with the organization of the party that this was going to be a huge party, and that it was going to be held at the Civic Center, which was where a not-so-exciting Gay Pride Festival was held only a few weeks ago. (Remember?) Well, despite the failure of the Pride Committee, Joining Hearts 21 was a huge success! My expectations were low, so when I arrived to see a "circuit-esque" set-up, complete with a canopy-dance area, a full-on light show, and DJ Roland Belmares at the turn-tables.
Earlier in the week, I was out at the Heretic for the mid-week shirtless party they have on Wednesday nights. I was having a bad week with things that were going on, and I needed to go out and dance. and I met this older guy who kept telling me I was gorgeous. He wanted to buy me drinks, so I let him buy me a Red Bull, and later a diet Coke (which I drink way too much of, since I don't drink alcohol anymore). He was fifty-two, but he looked forty, and he was interesting, so when he asked me out to dinner, I accepted. Later that night, I was with a few friends who wanted to stop by the apartment of someone I didn't know. When we arrived, I met a very attractive thirty-four year-old, somewhat femme hottie! He asked me out on a date, and I was very interested, so I said, "Definitely!" But let me just clarify: I never get asked out twice in the same night.
During this same week, a friend I met when I first moved to Atlanta two & a half years ago, Shawn, called me to buy a home in Kennesaw. I was excited to go house-hunting with him the Saturday of Joining Hearts. He decided on one, and instructed me to write up an offer. I was ecstatic with his decision, and when we were done, I went home to change for the party & to celebrate my up-coming closing! As I drove back from Kennesaw, I spoke to Mike (the femme hottie) on the phone. He said his EX was with him, and that he knew me, too. He had met me at the Heretic on Wednesday night! So, once the two of them (who had dated for almost ten years!) got over the fact that they asked out the same boy on the same night, the three of us decided to go to Joining Hearts together! How crazy! My friend, Seth, who I've known for a decade since we met in Boston, was supposed to accompany me to the party, but then had to go to a birthday party instead.
I noticed earlier in the week that Mike drank a fair amount of alcohol, but I didn't think much of it. I just assume that everyone other than myself (aside from the other alcoholics I know) is a normal drinker. But then the three of us got to Joining Hearts, and Mike disappeared after only a few minutes. Joe (the other EX) & I danced almost the whole night, and had a great time; but Mike never returned. Before he disappeared, he asked a bartender to fill up his large plastic cup with a little ice & vodka, only. I thought to myself, "Wow! That's totally something I've done!" Joe & I talked about it for a bit, and I disclosed some of my story to him, and he said that he wanted Mike to go to rehab. Unfortunately, he is not ready yet, and if he's not ready, no one else can really help get him there. An alcoholic must live in pain & suffering until he/she reaches rock-bottom. Once he asks for help, there is so much that can be done, but not until then.
As Joe & I danced, I felt as though I were at the WinterParty in South Beach, or on an Atlantis vacation. The only reminder that I was in Atlanta was a familiar face here and there, and the illuminated skyline as the sun set into beautiful pinks & purples. I knew I wasn't going to be interested in dating Joe, but I thought we would make fabulous friends. He knew more of the older crowd at the party, and I got to meet some distinguished people.
At about ten pm, a singer came out on stage with three drag queens who had been dancing with the crowd. One of the drag queens was my ex-husband, Jeremy. He and the other two girls were in matching outfits with these arrangements on their heads. I waved to Jeremy from the dance floor; he looked like he was having a great time. Abigail, the young singer of maybe twenty-five, was very attractive, with long straight, brown hair, and a very fit body. She started her performance with one of my all-time favorite songs, and the theme song to my Senior Prom, back in Greenwich, Connecticut: Forever Young, by Alphaville. Abigail's rendition was a dance/club version, that really got the crowd going. She followed it with a couple of circuit anthems, and then was finished. As Jeremy walked off the stage following his back-up performance, I said , "Hello," and I told him he did a great job. He said he was having a great time. The party thinned-out, but Joe wanted to stay until the very end because he was anticipating some fireworks, which they customarily have. We waited, but there were no fireworks. We finished up the night at Joe's Versace-like mansion in Buckhead with some friends, where I also got to meet a TV celebrity whose studio happens to be adjacent to my gym. Small gay world.
I love parties, I love to dance, and I love to hang out and socialize. And I think I always will. If I can keep doing those things, I don't need alcohol. People ask me how I do it, but I now know that I never needed to drink; once I learned some humility and became comfortable in my own skin, I became outgoing, I became flirty, I was funny. I never needed it, and I never had a craving at Joining Hearts or at the second party at Opera on Sunday night, which Joe & I went to as well. That party was a toned-down version of Joining Hearts with the proceeds going to the same charities. I got to meet DJ David Knapp, and he made it a point to remember my name! Very sweet guy. He asked if Joe & I were a couple, and I practically yelled, "No, David, I'm single!"
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